Well and Dry

[blue eyed baby]

She said "I used to say 'It's you and me, kid.'"
And I cried and that's fine
She mourned the half dead
And that's more than fine
"They're your tears to well and mine to dry"
I look through a glass
She looks though a pane
I can grow the other half back

 

[Wtekal Aooriq]

Well, I don't like the fact that you rhymed 'fine' with itself and the other gripe I have is the awkward glass and pane part. It just seems really forced. I do like the spoken parts and the ending though.

Don't think of this as a negative response, As I did enjoy it. I'm just pointing out where things could maybe be improved in my opinion, But that's my opinion and nothing you have to go by at all.

 

[Prasanth Genius]

im currently working on a song, but cant finish it... if anyone out there with a bit more experience in the song writing then i am could finish it or help me finish i would very grateful

it starts like this

Im just wakin up, got alot on my mind
time to get back to the usual grind
lookin back at the weekend, what a good time i had
just cant get this girl outta my head
as im writing this song, im thinkin of you
im wondering what your up to
its that sparkle in your eye, its that smile on your face
i just dont understand, it makes my heart race

cant think of a chorus or 2nd verse, if someone could help me out would be greatly appreciated

**reason im posting on this thread is cause i cant make one, since im a new member and im very impatient **

 

[.xoxo.]

i agree with what powerban said, although i really disliked the last line. spoken parts were great though.

 

[dnice1702]

dont spam other threaRAB, the reason why there is a waiting period on new accounts is to ensure you follow some rules here and dont post stupid ****. also this isnt a place where other people will write your **** for you.