i was on a school trip with another boy my age in a foreign country. we were little more than aquaintances and were assigned to share a bed alone together in a room in a hostel. he seemed uncomfortable with the thought at first, as he went around asking other people if they could switch, and seemed a little nervous/ worried that he would have the share with another guy. nobody offered to switch places, and we ended up sharing the bed anyway.
the first night he didnt want to share the covers, i ended up using the covers and he put on extra layers of clothes on in lieu of covers. the first night was fine and we slept well undisturbed.
the second night was different. we were supposed to leave early the next morning (4 am) and went to bed around 10:00 pm. we fell asleep around 10:00; i was under the covers but he was in layered clothing again. i woke up around midnight to him with one of his legs on top of my thighs, and i noticed he had a hand down his pants. i gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he rolled over in his sleep and wasn't doing anything sexual, and asked him if he could move over some and give me room so i could have more space on the bed to sleep. he rolled back to his side of the bed and i tried to go back to sleep. several minutes later, i heard him thumping his hand up and down quickly, and i assumed he was itching something and tried to go back to bed. but he kept doing it for a few minutes rather vigorously and i could tell it was coming from his hand that was inside his pants. at this point, it was keeping me awake and i tried to articulate these statements and questions carefully that
a) stated that i needed to sleep
b) asked him if he 'needed to do something' (euphamism for 'masturbate'), and that it was ok if he did/ its normal/ natural/ not shameful/ i wouldn't judge him if he did need to
c) offered that if he indeed 'needed to do something' that i could wait in the bathroom and give him privacy for him to fulfill his needs so we could both go to sleep
i tried expressing these ideas to him as diplomatically as i could the first time, but he didnt respond, despite me continually emphasizing that 'it is ok if you need to do it', 'its normal/ natural behavior, not weird' and 'i wouldn't tell anyone what he did/ was doing if that was what he did/ was doing'. so i tried going back to bed. of course, i woke up to him making noise and what seemed to be him pleasuring himself. again, i thought carefully about what i could say and ended up basically restating what i said before. he still didnt respond to anything i said. i tried to go to bed again, he did the same thing again. it is now about 1:00 am. i realized me talking to him/ trying to be reassuring/ trying to talk too much about it probably made him feel more awkward rather than less awkward, so i decided to try to go back to sleep. before i went to bed the 3rd time, the power went out. the room was now only lit by the moonlight through the cracks of the window/ curtains and no longer partially illuminated by the hallway lights that were now out, and our room was virtually pitch black. i told him that 'whatever he was doing, it's been going on for 1 hour and neither of us were getting any sleep even though we were going to wake up at 4 am in a few hours', and that 'if he ever 'needed to do something', now would be the perfect time to do it while i couldn't see him at all', and that 'i could wait in the bathroom and there would be no chance that i could see him at all in the pitch black in a different room'. after i explained this, he asked 'what bathroom?'. before we went to bed, we had a conversation about the private bathroom we hadn't noticed the night before that was attached to our room, so i was somewhat suprised that acted as if he didn't know what i was talking about despite our conversation we had just had a few hours ago before bed. i tried to politely remind him of our recent conversation before bed, and said that even if there wasn't one i could wait in the hallway and leave the room some other way, to which he responded saying 'that won't work'. he basically made it sound like i was stuck in the room with him and i had to be in the bed at the same time if he needed to masturbate.
of course, i had no way of knowing if he was actually masturbating because i couldn't see him and whenever i asked him anything/ tried to talk to him he wouldn't respond, so i had no way of knowing if this was the case because he wouldn't respond to anything i said. furthermore, previously on the trip he had been known to talk in his sleep and i didn't know if he was sleep talking/ doing these things in his sleep, much less if he was capable of responding to questions in his sleep, or if he was asleep in the first place.
immediately afterwards, i tried to go back to sleep
he kept doing whatever he was doing. then i decided while the power was still out i would go to the bathroom, wait a few minutes, and let him decide for himself whether or not to do it while i was in the bathroom and he was alone in privacy. i used the bathroom and waited a few minutes, and came out maybe 10 minutes later. i went back to bed, and he continued to be making those noises and some groans/ moans, leaving much to the imagination.
after listening to this all night, i was getting very horny/ aroused, and i finally decided to disclose to him in as diplomatic, non judgemental, reassuring way as possible that 'should he be sexually aroused, should he feel comfortable with the idea and should he not mind me sharing the bed with him as he masturbated that i wouldn't mind 'fooling around' or 'trying things' with him. as i tried to explained all this, my most complex and carefully worded statement/ suggestion of the night, he cut me off after i restated this for the 2nd time and sa
said 'its not that complicated', not elaborating on what he meant by that. to his statement, i responded saying 'i know its not that complicated, just tell me what you're doing/ what you want', and of course he didn't respond.
the rest of the night was me trying to go to bed, waking up to him moaning/ groaning/ vigorously pounding/ itching/ whatever to himself, and i at one point couldn't help myself and masturbated turning away from him. the rest of the night was hard to remember, but basically it was me waking up, masturbating away from him, and going to sleep. this repeated until we woke up at 4:00 am, packed our things and left.
basically: what does it seem like? did he want to masturbate with me? perhaps i misinterpreted? is he just really uncomfortable with his own sexuality that he doesnt want to admit he wanted to do something with another guy? or was he never at any point sexually aroused and just moving in his sleep/ having a weird dream/ not even awake when i talked to h
him?
i only start to dispel the thought that he was asleep because other people on the trip told me he was talking about 'me talking to him last night when he was trying to sleep' and seeming 'really annoyed by it', and when i asked if he was bothered they seemed to agree in consensus that 'he is really uncomfortable with the thought of sharing a room and he is probably just uncomfortable with himself' but nobody elaborated beyond this idea that he was just uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed with another guy and that they doubted it had anything to do with me.
knowing all this, what do you think happened? what do you think he was trying to do?
the first night he didnt want to share the covers, i ended up using the covers and he put on extra layers of clothes on in lieu of covers. the first night was fine and we slept well undisturbed.
the second night was different. we were supposed to leave early the next morning (4 am) and went to bed around 10:00 pm. we fell asleep around 10:00; i was under the covers but he was in layered clothing again. i woke up around midnight to him with one of his legs on top of my thighs, and i noticed he had a hand down his pants. i gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he rolled over in his sleep and wasn't doing anything sexual, and asked him if he could move over some and give me room so i could have more space on the bed to sleep. he rolled back to his side of the bed and i tried to go back to sleep. several minutes later, i heard him thumping his hand up and down quickly, and i assumed he was itching something and tried to go back to bed. but he kept doing it for a few minutes rather vigorously and i could tell it was coming from his hand that was inside his pants. at this point, it was keeping me awake and i tried to articulate these statements and questions carefully that
a) stated that i needed to sleep
b) asked him if he 'needed to do something' (euphamism for 'masturbate'), and that it was ok if he did/ its normal/ natural/ not shameful/ i wouldn't judge him if he did need to
c) offered that if he indeed 'needed to do something' that i could wait in the bathroom and give him privacy for him to fulfill his needs so we could both go to sleep
i tried expressing these ideas to him as diplomatically as i could the first time, but he didnt respond, despite me continually emphasizing that 'it is ok if you need to do it', 'its normal/ natural behavior, not weird' and 'i wouldn't tell anyone what he did/ was doing if that was what he did/ was doing'. so i tried going back to bed. of course, i woke up to him making noise and what seemed to be him pleasuring himself. again, i thought carefully about what i could say and ended up basically restating what i said before. he still didnt respond to anything i said. i tried to go to bed again, he did the same thing again. it is now about 1:00 am. i realized me talking to him/ trying to be reassuring/ trying to talk too much about it probably made him feel more awkward rather than less awkward, so i decided to try to go back to sleep. before i went to bed the 3rd time, the power went out. the room was now only lit by the moonlight through the cracks of the window/ curtains and no longer partially illuminated by the hallway lights that were now out, and our room was virtually pitch black. i told him that 'whatever he was doing, it's been going on for 1 hour and neither of us were getting any sleep even though we were going to wake up at 4 am in a few hours', and that 'if he ever 'needed to do something', now would be the perfect time to do it while i couldn't see him at all', and that 'i could wait in the bathroom and there would be no chance that i could see him at all in the pitch black in a different room'. after i explained this, he asked 'what bathroom?'. before we went to bed, we had a conversation about the private bathroom we hadn't noticed the night before that was attached to our room, so i was somewhat suprised that acted as if he didn't know what i was talking about despite our conversation we had just had a few hours ago before bed. i tried to politely remind him of our recent conversation before bed, and said that even if there wasn't one i could wait in the hallway and leave the room some other way, to which he responded saying 'that won't work'. he basically made it sound like i was stuck in the room with him and i had to be in the bed at the same time if he needed to masturbate.
of course, i had no way of knowing if he was actually masturbating because i couldn't see him and whenever i asked him anything/ tried to talk to him he wouldn't respond, so i had no way of knowing if this was the case because he wouldn't respond to anything i said. furthermore, previously on the trip he had been known to talk in his sleep and i didn't know if he was sleep talking/ doing these things in his sleep, much less if he was capable of responding to questions in his sleep, or if he was asleep in the first place.
immediately afterwards, i tried to go back to sleep
he kept doing whatever he was doing. then i decided while the power was still out i would go to the bathroom, wait a few minutes, and let him decide for himself whether or not to do it while i was in the bathroom and he was alone in privacy. i used the bathroom and waited a few minutes, and came out maybe 10 minutes later. i went back to bed, and he continued to be making those noises and some groans/ moans, leaving much to the imagination.
after listening to this all night, i was getting very horny/ aroused, and i finally decided to disclose to him in as diplomatic, non judgemental, reassuring way as possible that 'should he be sexually aroused, should he feel comfortable with the idea and should he not mind me sharing the bed with him as he masturbated that i wouldn't mind 'fooling around' or 'trying things' with him. as i tried to explained all this, my most complex and carefully worded statement/ suggestion of the night, he cut me off after i restated this for the 2nd time and sa
said 'its not that complicated', not elaborating on what he meant by that. to his statement, i responded saying 'i know its not that complicated, just tell me what you're doing/ what you want', and of course he didn't respond.
the rest of the night was me trying to go to bed, waking up to him moaning/ groaning/ vigorously pounding/ itching/ whatever to himself, and i at one point couldn't help myself and masturbated turning away from him. the rest of the night was hard to remember, but basically it was me waking up, masturbating away from him, and going to sleep. this repeated until we woke up at 4:00 am, packed our things and left.
basically: what does it seem like? did he want to masturbate with me? perhaps i misinterpreted? is he just really uncomfortable with his own sexuality that he doesnt want to admit he wanted to do something with another guy? or was he never at any point sexually aroused and just moving in his sleep/ having a weird dream/ not even awake when i talked to h
him?
i only start to dispel the thought that he was asleep because other people on the trip told me he was talking about 'me talking to him last night when he was trying to sleep' and seeming 'really annoyed by it', and when i asked if he was bothered they seemed to agree in consensus that 'he is really uncomfortable with the thought of sharing a room and he is probably just uncomfortable with himself' but nobody elaborated beyond this idea that he was just uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed with another guy and that they doubted it had anything to do with me.
knowing all this, what do you think happened? what do you think he was trying to do?