Wal Mart Woes

C

CEM

New member
I always knew wal mart (I'm not going to dignify them by capitalizing their name) was the spawn of satan. I never realized how shitty it was until yesterday.

I had a few friends come from back home, a small town with no wal mart, and so they were like "omg let's go to wal mart LOL!" So, against my better judgement, we did that yesterday. I was OK with that, there was this new wal mart supercenter that just opened not far from where I live. So we went there. While there, I decided to look at their car audio, seeing as my car is without sound.

I found a decent deck that I liked for a decent price (not wal mart brand, but pioneer, for like 150 bucks or something.) So I wanted to buy it. I asked one of the employees there who seemed very eager to help (yeah, right), but she said she had no key, and stood there looking at the glass cage thing like a stoned monkey about to get hit by the short bus.

Or something.

So, I went off to find somebody else. I asked 3 people who gave me a flat-out "no." So, naturally, I was like "wtf." Christina, my sister's friend, wandered off to find the manager to bitch and get me my damn CD player. By this time I finished 4 games of pool, cause they had a pool table set up there. It was for display only, but it had balls on it so we decided to play. That was mildly entertaining. 45 minutes passed, and still no help, Christina was hopelessly lost, our group was separated, except me and the guy I was playing pool with. So we said fuck it, phoned up everybody, and said we're leaving.

I left all the shit I was carrying on an air hockey table and walked out. Then we went to best buy where we found a better CD player for not much more.

Fuck wal mart.
 
You're not capitalizing Satan, either?!



Word. I actually pay my sister to grocery shop for me (cheaper at wal mart). I hate it and every time I go, I go with three things on my list, and come out with 80. It's fucking despicable.
 
So, you don't like Wal-Mart because they have stuff you want to buy at prices you're willing to pay for? ha ha That's awesome. :thumbsup:
 
;844501']I worked at Wal-Mart for like, a month.

It's actually a smart company. You can actually make a decent living if you start there young and bust your tail. They had a system similar to what the military does (and a lot of other jobs do) where they rate you as you go along, and show you your strengths and weaknesses. They document your progress, and you have your work history in a file that can be reviewed at any time.

But, I find that most people who are at Wal-Mart at any given time are morons. It's like it has an idiot magnet.

Once in the parking lot, they lose the ability to drive a vehicle.

After they exit a vehicle, they walk seemingly stealthful and swiftly in front of other vehicles in random areas of the parking lot.

Somewhere at the door, there is an invisible box that all courtesy and decency is left in and forgotten.

Children are stricken by an airborne virus somewhere near the toy department which makes them behave like savages and scream like scalded banshees.

Many people will forget what certain foods are, and have to stare at the cans/bags/containers for hours while standing in the middle of the aisle (usually the obese).

Shoppers lose the ability to count past 20 before entering the express checkout.

Anyone in their elderly years will immediately forget about the coupon they have buried deep within their purse beneath long-forgotten candies and cosmetics from the heyday of the Age of the Titans.

At the door, all of your goods will be searched by an employee that would be better off working in a US Customs unit- though this person will repeatedly reference the receipt and be nearly blind.

Once outside the door, all drivers are overcome with an insatiable bloodlust and will attempt to run you over.

Damn, I hate that store.
 
I waited about an hour for someone to get me a fish.

I waited another 15 minutes for someone to come help me get something off of a high shelf. I don't really like it because of its big-company status and lackluster quality in products.

I'd buy razor blades or shaving cream there... but not much more.
 
I actually only had trouble with the walmart tire center.. they sold me a tire that had a catastrophic blowout on the road(I.E. the tire didnt just go flat.. it exploded). But they made good on it after I bitched hard enough. That's all you gotta do really. If car stereo fuckers cant get you a key you ask to see the area manager and give him the wtf routine. drop a bomb or two about shopping at Target or something.. they usually start kissing your ass..
 
Standard procedures for wal mart employees when noticing that a customer needs help:

1. Avoid eye contact.
2. Mosy away in the opposite direction.
3. Or pretend to have downs syndrome, or a funny eye condition.

Works everytime. They duck and hide behind shit too, in the most dire situations.
 
I avoid walmart if I can. There's only a couple things I get there, which I'm not sure where else to get locally.

And yes, I'm too lazy to figure that out.
 
I am lol so hard I have tears! My man goes to fucking wal-mart every yes every Saturday. His mom calls at the buttcrack of dawn gets him his handicapped uncle and go on there merry little way.

They always come back like deet da deets look what I found at wal-mart.
For some reason it always reminds of Stewart from Mad T.V!!!!!
 
I also end up buying more than I came in for if I'm not careful. If you ever see a woman in Wal Mart chanting "Tampons, detergent and milk, tampons, detergent and milk, thats it.", that would probobly be me.

My Wal Mart isn't bad. I have a few friends that work there. And no, they are not handicapped. I haven't stood around to see their work performance, but knowing them I would say they would be helpful to people. Anyway, its nice because at Christmas I'm using their employee discount. It's not much but every little bit helps.
 
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