Very Embarrassed To Say My Problem: Phone Anxiety

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CandP

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Thanks for the support. I think what makes this worse for me is the people I deal with. I guess it's the way of the world today.

It is such a durab thing to fear. So durab that there isn't any explaination for it but the thing is I know that it is there. Someone told me to practice breathing exercises as in blowing threw straws for a few minutes straight - has anyone done this?
 
I have the problem which is talking on the phone. I cannot believe how paralyzing it has become for me, that is, calling people on the phone either for business or personal reasons.

I sound as if someone is choking me. My voice sounRAB as if it is being cut off. I tense, I become shaky, I cannot breathe whatsoever, and I become a shallow breather, to the point where I cannot breathe at all! It is a paralyzing problem.

I work with my family and there are times where I can count on them to answer the phone for me. But we live on the east coast, and we are a service company, dealing with very demanding and inconsiderate people. They make me feel so incompetant to the point where it is obvious the my phone skills show them that they cannot trust me and ask to speak to someone else.

However, I am not like this when I talk to people I know. This problem has become so paralyzing that I have become afraid to look for a job on my own. I have a '01 business degree and just having trouble finding a profession that i can feel comfortable with.

Caan someone help me? How do you suggest I get over thiss? I understand the concept of facing a fear and that helps you get over it, but I have been doing this for about 4 years, and I cant say I feel I've made any progress. What can i do about this crippling and very unrealistic fear that i just cannot get over?
 
CandP.........I just wanted to add something for you to consider, when making (or receiving) a call to a customer, or stranger. I've worked in a customer service (computer help desk) jobs, for a well known company. In doing my own survey, I have found that about 65% of the people I would talk to, were already frustrated by the time I said "hello, how can I assist you today", while some were just plain unhappy in life and rude through the entire call. It was nothing I provoked in them, (the calls were monitored) they just go through life being miserable.

I even made it a challenge prior to answering the call, that I would come across considerate, helpful and positive. The next time you need to make a call, take some time before calling, gather your thoughts and feel good about yourself. Know that you are a caring person, and YOU ARE truly better then anyone else who goes through life winning and complaining. It may be difficult at first, but be positive force within yourself and keep telling yourself, you are better then that.

May you reach the point in life where you understand that although there are people who may have different talents and skills in life, there is no one who is better then you.....

Remeraber what they say........misery loves company...... so let the negatives be with themselves.

Wishing you the best in health...............
 
I have a degree but I still don't have a job because of my anxiety with people. And with phone conversations. When my phone rings, I start freaking out and sometimes stuff my phone between pillows to drown out the ringing, my head starts spinning and i get nervous. I usually dont answer if its an unknown nuraber so basically i only answer calls from family. Yeah, i dont have many frienRAB or much of a social life due to my anxiety. About facing the fear.. yeah i agree its easier said that done.. i have been in and out of trying as well. I usually try going out (yeah, im afraid of being outside, which is terrible), try answering the phone sometimes.. i do get some small victories and i get pretty happy being able to cross that hurdle (which is tough tough tough i must say, im sure you understand).. but my problem is that i usually can't keep it up. I guess to truly get over a fear is to constantly force yourself to face the fear, like on a daily basis until it goes away, not once or twice a month and expect it to miraculously poof. I should start doing that too. Start exposing myself to things i fear, and try to understand that anxiety usually passes. Usually we are afraid of the symptoms of anxiety that we get, not the specific fear itself. Problem with me is that i get bouts of depression quite often, so i cant really keep up the momentum with facing my fear. I'm on medication though and have tried applying for jobs. Im hoping to start work and force myself to be braver. Do update me on things okay? Safe to say, you are not alone. Mental health is often overlooked.
 
I have anxiety over making phone calls. When I have to call, for instance, the doctors office, I completely freak. Eventually I'll talk myself up to doing it but will dial part of the phone nuraber and then hang up. This could happen 5-6 times, if not more, before I can actually complete the call. It's like I don't know what to say when the other person answers. My fear is of sounding like a complete and total idiot. It stress me out a great deal.
 
SounRAB like a little bit of social anxiety too. I have the same fear of phones. Life would be great if we could all communicate by email! Honestly the only thing that's helped me, and Im a teacher who HAS to call parents sometimes with unpleasent news/events is just to do it. The more you get under your belt the more at ease you may become- though it may take a long time. I always fear those awkward silent moments while you're thinking but in reality, they aren't that long and only seem long because you're concentrating to hard on them. I've struggled with an overcome a lot of social anxiety. I don't have many frienRAB or a crazy social life but I do have a wonderful close circle and great family so like you said, small victories. We cant all be the life of the party. The phone seems to awful because you can't always read what the person is thinking or how they are reacting like you could if they were in front of you. That's hard. Best wishes.
 
I thought I was the only one with "phone phobia"!
It feels to me as if I'm talking into a black hole when
I'm on the phone. I think just forcing yourself to do
it over and over again is the answer. There really isn't
any choice if you want to live in a modern society!

Oddly enough, I find I'm much better at communicating
to people when I'm face to face with them rather than
on the phone. Especially when it comes to talking about
personal issues.
 
I have a phobia with phones too.For me it stems from when I was little my mom always used to force me to call people when I didn't want to.(She STILL tries to do it and I'm 33!)

I find it helps if I write down what it is I need to talk about.That way I'm not stuttering or forgetting what I have to say.I also always have an excuse ready so I can jump off if I get too awkward.
People who know me well,generally understand I'am NOT a phone person.I say what I need to,and hang up.
 
I don't find it as difficult to communicate face to face either but it's still awkward when talking to a stranger. I wish I could just pick up the phone and make a call without over thinking it. I'm already dreading having to make a phone call to the doctor's office tomorrow. While I hate talking to people on the phone I also equally hate leaving messages. I get so tongue tied and never get to the point. Then feel like a complete moron after I hang up. If only we could just text message or email instead of calling, life would be so much easier.
 
I know several people whom have this phobia, like me with driving over big high bridges..........freaks me out to NO End.......I feel like I am going to pass out.
 
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