Sorry to hear about your troubles.
I have many hemangiomas throughout my spine in the vertebrae. However, they don't cause me any problems. Something like 11% of the population have them in their vertebrae.
Less than 1% of all hemangiomas are symptomatic, but the ones that do cause problems can really cause big problems. Many doctors assume since so few hemangiomas cause problems that a person with them does not have problems caused by them. You unfortunately are experiencing this from several doctors.
Hemangiomas are basically a bundle of veins and it is surgically very challanging to operate on them due to the high likelihood of them bleeding uncontrollably. This also may be part of why the doctors are shrugging you off since they don't want to do such a risky surgery or don't have any experience with such a surgery. Hemangiomas are basically very similar to a port wine birthmark on a person's face which can bleed so badly when operated on.
It is also very unusual for hemangiomas to grow over time. Since yours is apparently doing so, I would say it is important to get to the bottom of why it is growing and what is causing your pain. Although highly unlikely, you would want to make sure there isn't cancer there.
It is also possible that your pain is unrelated to the hemangioma and that it is just an incidental finding. You could have a herniated or torn disc there that the MRI isn't picking up or even a problem like MS.
The pain isn't in your head, and all I can do is encourage you to keep going to doctors until you find one that can give you answers, and do your own research to get closer also. Going to a large teaching university hospital or large spinal clinic may also get you to some experts if you haven't already gone those routes!
Warm wishes!
