...please help me. :/? Okay basically long story short. I was hospitalized for an eating disorder 2 years ago. I had recovered. am happy. but the last year ive been struggling and now I eat 1300-1500 (never over, never out, never bad. All organic, natural, fruit, veggie, salad, brown rice, kashi, lean turkey, etc) I do this exercise 5 times a week (I never miss a workout)
-run 8-9 miles, walk 1-2 miles, 200 crunches, and leg lifts.
I could go into all my thoughts and feelings but that would take forever. basically I have broken, I am not happy, I am miserable, eating/times/cals/exercise/etc. consume my thoughts 24 hours a day. I miss out on everything to workout and never hang out with my friends anymore. I lie so I dont have to go out to eat because I cant imagine eating that crap.
I was 135 lbs last june, and now I have lost about 40 pounds.
I havent had my period since last june, am severely anemic, tired all the time, muscle aches, heart beat is 25 beats belo normal, and I just had blood work done again today. I am always cold and I just feel like a ******g fat *** I CANT DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE.
I am curretnyl 18 years old, 5'5'', and 97 lbs.
I dont know what to do anymore. I cant take this and I cry all the time because I know Im out of control but I CANNOT STOP. and people have noticed and wont stop talking sh** and Im just so overwhelmed and stressed and Im scared I wont have kids one day because of my no period.
I wrote my mom an email explaining it all but I cant send it im so scared. I dont want her to be down my throat and not let me exercise. Ive looked up/emailed nutritionists in the area to help but I have to tell my mom in order to do that correctly and I just dont know if its worth it to tell my mom.
I NEED HELP
i know it makes sense to tell her, but I dont want her to get mad, not understand, be upset, be mad, and be down my throat and not let me run. I cant deal with that.
i just want her to know so she can be more sensitive to the fact that im struggling and very unhappy and I just dont know. I feel so bad lying all the time now. I cant keep up this life anymore but I cant tell her
im so fu**ing scared. Please dont say "just tell her"
cause I know that. I know I should tell her to get help.
but im just scared and I dont even know if im that bad because Im not that underweight at ALL im actually kind of large to be admitting to a problem.
also, I eat between 1300-1500 cals a day so im not not eating..before when I was in the hospital I only ate 500 cals before I was sent. so im much better.
but I just cant even explain the torture im going through.
what the hell do I do?
god please just give me some advice.
should I just not tell her and tell her that I want a nutritionist but not tell hermy eating disorder relapse struggles?
cause I could do that..just say I want to eat better and see a nutritinoist ?? and then she would still allow me to exercise? god I dont know
help me please.
again, 5'5'' and 97 lbs as of today.
thank you
-run 8-9 miles, walk 1-2 miles, 200 crunches, and leg lifts.
I could go into all my thoughts and feelings but that would take forever. basically I have broken, I am not happy, I am miserable, eating/times/cals/exercise/etc. consume my thoughts 24 hours a day. I miss out on everything to workout and never hang out with my friends anymore. I lie so I dont have to go out to eat because I cant imagine eating that crap.
I was 135 lbs last june, and now I have lost about 40 pounds.
I havent had my period since last june, am severely anemic, tired all the time, muscle aches, heart beat is 25 beats belo normal, and I just had blood work done again today. I am always cold and I just feel like a ******g fat *** I CANT DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE.
I am curretnyl 18 years old, 5'5'', and 97 lbs.
I dont know what to do anymore. I cant take this and I cry all the time because I know Im out of control but I CANNOT STOP. and people have noticed and wont stop talking sh** and Im just so overwhelmed and stressed and Im scared I wont have kids one day because of my no period.
I wrote my mom an email explaining it all but I cant send it im so scared. I dont want her to be down my throat and not let me exercise. Ive looked up/emailed nutritionists in the area to help but I have to tell my mom in order to do that correctly and I just dont know if its worth it to tell my mom.
I NEED HELP
i know it makes sense to tell her, but I dont want her to get mad, not understand, be upset, be mad, and be down my throat and not let me run. I cant deal with that.
i just want her to know so she can be more sensitive to the fact that im struggling and very unhappy and I just dont know. I feel so bad lying all the time now. I cant keep up this life anymore but I cant tell her
im so fu**ing scared. Please dont say "just tell her"
cause I know that. I know I should tell her to get help.
but im just scared and I dont even know if im that bad because Im not that underweight at ALL im actually kind of large to be admitting to a problem.
also, I eat between 1300-1500 cals a day so im not not eating..before when I was in the hospital I only ate 500 cals before I was sent. so im much better.
but I just cant even explain the torture im going through.
what the hell do I do?
god please just give me some advice.
should I just not tell her and tell her that I want a nutritionist but not tell hermy eating disorder relapse struggles?
cause I could do that..just say I want to eat better and see a nutritinoist ?? and then she would still allow me to exercise? god I dont know
help me please.
again, 5'5'' and 97 lbs as of today.
thank you