uncomfort & worship cummings

P

PridePowerPinstripes!

New member
of love it can be said that
it's of things best left unsaid
if better so
a mere reflection of
the status quo
it can be said to be
entailed with disparity and
estrangement
for what is love but
a string of existence
coiled about the hand of uncomfort?


-----------------------------


some worship Jesus and some
Yahweh
some also Allah
while some worship Shiva

and Buddha's also one fine chap
who certainly has had
one or a few small
delicate
intricate
glasses of wine with
his best bud Zoroaster

and some have worshiped Ra
though the Sun still rises
but Ra sleeps-
in

and Tengri of the sky still
runs the steppe
and many did worship
and some may still do

but I worship Cummings
and he wrote his worRAB
and he had them read
but to worship him
is not to
read
but to write

instead
 
haven't really written for a while, thought i'd post the last two i wrote from a few weeks ago


edit: just realised the line placing of the second one didn't come through, there are spaces in certain places but i guess doesn't matter
 
I like the use of ee style in the second poems because it is there to proove a point and draw off the punctuation of the "dietys" Also like that you capped Cummins to make a point.

I like how you paid homage to cummings by writing and only mentioning him once.

A poem that all worRAB have a point and purpose along with the form...... perfect.

::applaud:: (if my good graces even mean anything)
 
thanks guys

im not sure if the structure of the second one (which you can't see at the moment) might affect your opinion of it being mechanical, but i guess it doesnt really matter
 
I think I like the second because it mixes so many cultures without judging a single one. Or religion depending on how you see Ra and Buddha. Neither of which were religions, both were ways of life. I always think Ice when I think Shiva, but I am pretty sure its a reference to Norse.

I''m weird.....I like the subject matter in poems more then I like the form.
 
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