Two new poems! PLEASE give advice!?

Beth Holland

New member
Idk if they are any good. I'm in a very depressed mood. Let me know what you think of them. How can I make them better?


Strike be down*
For I'm a idiot
Hate me now
Hate me after
One drink
Two drinks not enough
Three drinks just a buz sure enough you soon get too
Four
Maybe even after
One cut.*
Two cuts go a little more
Three cuts next thing you know your at
Four

_______________________________
One vine*
With your blood leaking down
For the thorns got ahold of you

Slicing at your*
Scared, stormy cloud colored skin
For you have to keep a tight grip
So that you don't fall below the earth

With possion making it's way
To your unloveable lips
Convensimg you to consumer
Another depressent

You fade in and out
Taking the vine once more
To destroy your soul. *

*

*
 
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