Rudy Rimbaud
New member
when i was younger i always wore boy clothes and played sports and made mud pies and i loved looking like a boy. i taught myself to pee standing up and when i heard the word transgendered i felt in my heart that was me. but i buried it deep inside me cause i felt there was something wrong with me and that nobody would let me be a boy. so i dressed like a girl and grew my hair out to fit in because people made fun of me for only having friends that were boys. suddenly my main friends were girls and i never really felt comfortable telling anyone how i felt about anything and was never really close with anyone. i'm more the person to joke around with and the class clown.
i lately noticed how uncomfortable i am in girls clothes so i bought a bunch of shorts and big t-shirts and sweatshirts to hide my curves and chest. but when i think about maybe i am trans, i realize i would love to be a boy but would never ever want to put my family through all that trouble. i feel my nephew would never understand what happened to his aunt. and i babysit a young boy who is 'in love' with me. how would he feel when i became the boy i've always been? i'm so scared that it would be the wrong choice to change. plus i would be a gay guy and it would be so hard for me to find anyone who would like what's down there.
I'm not even sure that i AM trans, maybe just genderqueer or something but i just can't stand my hair and my face and my body and i don't know what to do and i just really need help. please give me some advice, i don't even care what it is.
i lately noticed how uncomfortable i am in girls clothes so i bought a bunch of shorts and big t-shirts and sweatshirts to hide my curves and chest. but when i think about maybe i am trans, i realize i would love to be a boy but would never ever want to put my family through all that trouble. i feel my nephew would never understand what happened to his aunt. and i babysit a young boy who is 'in love' with me. how would he feel when i became the boy i've always been? i'm so scared that it would be the wrong choice to change. plus i would be a gay guy and it would be so hard for me to find anyone who would like what's down there.
I'm not even sure that i AM trans, maybe just genderqueer or something but i just can't stand my hair and my face and my body and i don't know what to do and i just really need help. please give me some advice, i don't even care what it is.