Today's Quiz: Are you a fundy atheist?

You may be fundei athei if you

You have actually calculated, for purposes of "argument by outrage," an estimate of the number of people drowned in The Flood.

You can quote from the bible better than most missionaries...at least the parts where someone dies.

You label all scholars that actually believe the Bible as "biased fundies" while those who don't believe it are known as "honest" and "accepted scholarship."

You insist that the Bible cannot possibly say anything about homosexuality being a sin, because they did not even have a concept of homosexuality at the time the Bible was written...then insist that the Bible says that David and Jonathan were married.
......AND you produce a long list of verses containing the words "children", "touching", and "bowels".

You think you have refuted the whole Trilemma because you've added another alternative to it.

You dismiss any attempt to harmonize the resurrection accounts by saying "one says A, the other says B, but none say A+B", then go on to offer your own elaborate conspiracy theory of what happened to the Jesus' body, describing A+B+C+D, none of which are said ANYWHERE let alone together.

You think that Isaac Asimov was a world-class authority in Biblical Studies.

You make a point of referring to Jesus as "Yeshua" and to God as "Yahveh" in order to hint that they are no different from Molech or Baal.

You use one,or more,of the following alternate spellings: GOD-"gawd" JESUS-"jeeezus" "jayzus" "jebus" "jeebers" BIBLE-"bibble" "babble" "wholly babble" "buy-bull"

You refer to the crucifixion of Jesus as the "cruci-fiction".
When a Christian's interpretation of a passage (based on the social/literary context) solves one of your favorite contradictions, it is only their personal interpretation, and can be dismissed as such. But your interpretation (based on a "plain" reading of the text) to arrive at the contradiction in the first place is entirely objective, and is obviously THE correct interpretation.

Your only knowledge of The Bible comes from searching 'bible contradictions' in Google.

Everytime you don't understand a passage in The Bible, instead of trying to figure it out you blame God for not writing it better.
 
***Everytime you don't understand a passage in The Bible, instead of trying to figure it out you blame God for not writing it better.***

God didn't write the Bible; man did. Man is fallible, and therefore, so is every idea contained within it, potentially.

Fail.
 
Only 1/12
I do know the bible better than anyone who's attempted to evangelise me in the last twenty years. And not just the slaughter.

*probably* not a fundy atheist.
More:
"Cet animal est fort méchant,
Quand on l'attaque il se défend."
 
"You can quote from the bible better than most missionaries...at least the parts where someone dies."

"Your only knowledge of The Bible comes from searching 'bible contradictions' in Google."

Those were my favorites. Where did you find these?
 
didnt this just get posted... literally like one minute ago?


hmmm.... fundie who? not I lol but here is a mirror <()> ... you just may have your words mixed up... or maybe your brain lol


oh and P.S. wake up... man wrote the bible... not god.... where did he get the pen? or paper? or where did he write it?

good luck!!
 
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