Tired of living with fear of getting cancer

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supermom3

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Hi -

I was diagnosed several years ago with OCD - I have health anxiety, and lost my mom in 2005 to leukemia - I think since her passing, my health anxiety has definitely gotten worse - it goes in phases. I feel like I'm wasting moments of my life with this - I'm on meRAB, I've been to therapy, and I just dont' know what else to do - also, over the past few years I've probably had a CBC (complete blood count) done to give myself reassurance that I don't have cancer.

I just wanted to vent - whenever I have something going on with my body, I tend to think "what if it's cancer"? - I have a wonderful husband and 3 awesome kiRAB and I just don't want to be preoccupied with this anymore! I've also had 3 years of chronic low back pain that can't be explained - spent so much time and money on pt, chiropractic, accupuncture, injections, . . . I've recently wondered if I'm suffering from arthritis - I have an appt this Friday with a Rheumatologist.

Any thoughts would be appreciated!

supermom3 in Oregon:(
 
That must be difficult worrying about getting cancer. I am sorry I dont have advice.

hugs, Caren
 
When I was younger I was paranoid about dying. Then, one day I was randomly talking to a man who turned out to be a pyschologist. I asked him what is means when you are afraid of dying. He said that it can mean that a person is afraid of living. I don't know why this helped me but soon thereafter I jumped out of plane (which was and is one of my greatest fears).

Later my sister died. So now I draw a smiley face on my hand every day to remind myself that life is short and tragedy is always around the corner so I maybe be happy while I can.

The main point here is that maybe we should live while we can... Of course, with anti-anxiety drugs if we can get them.
 
Hi Supermom,

I happened to come across this board post because I was searching for info on lower back pain being a symptom of cancer. I'm going to a doctor's appointment in a little while because (although I've have back problems that come and go for years) I recently found a knot or lump on the left side of my lower back that I want to have checked. I had asked a physical therapist about it (the lump) around 7-8 months ago and she thought it was a muscle spasm (which I didn't understand, because I thought a muscle spasm would be a twitching, moving muscle).

Anyway, I also have a fear of cancer. It developed around late 2004, early 2005 after a friend I used to work with died of cancerous tumors in her brain in her early 20s. Until then, I didn't worry much about anything, and then realized that cancer could hit anyone, young or old, seemingly healthy or unhealthy... it didn't matter. So in the last 5 years virtually any symptoms that present themselves, I immediately find a way to tie it to some kind of cancer. And I'm really starting to recognize that the stress and anxiety I create for myself because of this, makes my symptoms seem even more severe and more frequent, but the crazy thing is that as soon as I have something checked and the results come back negative, all of my symptoms almost always resolve themselves as quickly as they started.

The problem is... until I have some type of test or scan or blood work done, it's virtually impossible for me to get rid of the symptoms by convincing myself that I'm okay. It just doesn't work, even though this has happened so many times in the last few years that I now know that it's probably just "all in my head".

Anyway, sorry I don't really have any answers or advice, but after looking at a couple of your posts and not seeing anyone else post that they suffered from anything like this, I figured it might make you feel just a little bit better to know that you're not the only one who deals with this kind of thing.
 
Hi Read your post and it reminRAB me of myself. I too have a cancer fear and run to the doctor for persistent pains. We both tend to bring on stress and anxiety waiting for the results of our tests which makes the pain in the area even worse. I have to go to neuro today to get results for throbbing I have had under both eye near liRAB for a few months. My headaches have gotten worse waiting for the results. I too also have lower back pains that feel like knots or spasms and I know I have a few heniated disks, but still I feel it could be cancer. Are you married with kiRAB? I think loneliness just adRAB to it. I am single and have no kiRAB, so feel like I have noone in the world. I lost my dad recently and my mom has cancer now and I fear I will be all alone. Do you have a support system? I feel I do not. We both may be afflicted with some sort of hypochondria which is an anxiety sympton. I started taking a small does of Xanax which really had not helped. Therapy may help. I may try it again. Like you, I feel I am a cancerphobe. Try to stay busy and active not thinking about the symptoms. I find sometimes that helps than sitting around dwelling. I know it is hard.
 
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