W
wurrble
Guest
ONE
Four Score And Seven Light Years Due Upwards From Earth
In the beginning, Anthorpian and Lucifier created the heavens and the earth. And boy did they screw it up.
It wasn’t that they weren’t all-powerful-superomnipotent-pyschedelic-magical-planet-making-machines, don’t get me wrong, they were, it’s just that, well, they were new at this.
Bored of eternity and the never-ending nothingness of oblivion, plus a little sick of each others company after a googolplex of years together, they had decided to give planet-rearing a try.
The First World was a hotchpotch of bad ideas. For starters the early designs for “man” were a little unpolished. Everybody had one arm and three legs, with an oversized slobbering mouth on their chests and ears between their toes. The planet itself was a great big flat pancake spinning through space, orbited by an assortment of objects that had strayed too close to the edge, stray children and cars with faulty brakes for example. The final nail in its cosmic coffin was the fact that all the people of the planet -all seven hundred and fifty eight billion of them - lived in one great big planet-wide settlement. It was so cramped that if somebody in the middle slipped and nudged into someone else, the domino effect it caused would send a hundred mile trail of people falling flat onto their faces, where eventually some poor soul at the planets rim would be sent tumbling into the recesses of space.
After this epic failure, the two godly brothers built The Second World. All they wanted was a few little humans, buzzing around and weaving interpersonal dramas in a little hamster cage for them to watch for all eternity. Was that too much to ask?
Learning from their mistakes, The Second World was round, sparsely populated, and the humans were made to be two feet tall and had a few extra heads added as well. Anthorpian wasn’t exactly sure about this last modification, but his brother Lucifier had insisted.
Unfortunately this planet too was a failure. After setting the planet spinning off on its axis, it immediately proceeded to shoot off at 64,000 miles an hour and it wasn’t tied down to anything. The multi-headed midgets were never seen nor heard of again.
By now, tensions were beginning to rise between the two brothers. Whilst contemplating their next attempt, they began discussing how they wished to rule the people once they’d got the formula right. Anthorpian wanted to build a world where he could happily watch his little subjects and see them grow up and go to college and occasionally pick the lottery winners just to see their smiling faces. Lucifier on the other hand, wanted their world to be filled with festering sulphur clouds and trembling subjects whom he could make dance and bark like a dog at his own discretion. Whilst occasionally framing a few people for murder just to see their faces.
This disagreement quickly escalated into the classic “ultimate biblical battle for complete control of the universe” scenario.
Anthorpian smited his wicked brother with but a flick of his little finger (at least that’s how he tells it) and banished him to The Other Side.
This was the place where all the unwanted, unbelieving or just slightly bad-smelling people of their worlds were sent when they died.
A very small number had earned the right to rise up and join them in the heavens, but this stinky, fiery - slightly sticky on all surfaces - place was an appropriate prison for the treacherous Lucifier.
But before Anthorpian began crafting his Third World, to alleviate the loneliness he suffered at the loss of his brother, he created in his image three daughters and a son.
They watched in awe as he crafted The Third World. Conjuring earth and rock and fusing it together, unravelling waves of pure water from his hands and placing every tree and leaf one by one until it was perfect.
But one child was not content to just sit and watch. Anthorpian’s only son - Godfrey - wanted to get his hands dirty. While Ant was busy on one side of the planet, carving out continents from the earth, God was plonking down dinosaurs on the other side. Ant started blowing clouds into the sky, while God was brewing up some magma to have shooting out of the ground at random intervals. Ant was lovingly creating his perfect world, while God was injecting his own brand of chaos.
Chaos that remained unnoticed until the final stages of planet creation, the writing and signing of the Program.
all powerful super omnipotent pyschedelic magical planet making machines ..... why just three dots, yahoo?
so if i dont start a sentence with 'and' how do i write the first two sentences to get the same effect when said aloud ?
you're not the first to suggest its childish, what is it that gives this impression? is it the childish "people falling over" bit? the general vibe? all criticisms welcome, be brutal
Four Score And Seven Light Years Due Upwards From Earth
In the beginning, Anthorpian and Lucifier created the heavens and the earth. And boy did they screw it up.
It wasn’t that they weren’t all-powerful-superomnipotent-pyschedelic-magical-planet-making-machines, don’t get me wrong, they were, it’s just that, well, they were new at this.
Bored of eternity and the never-ending nothingness of oblivion, plus a little sick of each others company after a googolplex of years together, they had decided to give planet-rearing a try.
The First World was a hotchpotch of bad ideas. For starters the early designs for “man” were a little unpolished. Everybody had one arm and three legs, with an oversized slobbering mouth on their chests and ears between their toes. The planet itself was a great big flat pancake spinning through space, orbited by an assortment of objects that had strayed too close to the edge, stray children and cars with faulty brakes for example. The final nail in its cosmic coffin was the fact that all the people of the planet -all seven hundred and fifty eight billion of them - lived in one great big planet-wide settlement. It was so cramped that if somebody in the middle slipped and nudged into someone else, the domino effect it caused would send a hundred mile trail of people falling flat onto their faces, where eventually some poor soul at the planets rim would be sent tumbling into the recesses of space.
After this epic failure, the two godly brothers built The Second World. All they wanted was a few little humans, buzzing around and weaving interpersonal dramas in a little hamster cage for them to watch for all eternity. Was that too much to ask?
Learning from their mistakes, The Second World was round, sparsely populated, and the humans were made to be two feet tall and had a few extra heads added as well. Anthorpian wasn’t exactly sure about this last modification, but his brother Lucifier had insisted.
Unfortunately this planet too was a failure. After setting the planet spinning off on its axis, it immediately proceeded to shoot off at 64,000 miles an hour and it wasn’t tied down to anything. The multi-headed midgets were never seen nor heard of again.
By now, tensions were beginning to rise between the two brothers. Whilst contemplating their next attempt, they began discussing how they wished to rule the people once they’d got the formula right. Anthorpian wanted to build a world where he could happily watch his little subjects and see them grow up and go to college and occasionally pick the lottery winners just to see their smiling faces. Lucifier on the other hand, wanted their world to be filled with festering sulphur clouds and trembling subjects whom he could make dance and bark like a dog at his own discretion. Whilst occasionally framing a few people for murder just to see their faces.
This disagreement quickly escalated into the classic “ultimate biblical battle for complete control of the universe” scenario.
Anthorpian smited his wicked brother with but a flick of his little finger (at least that’s how he tells it) and banished him to The Other Side.
This was the place where all the unwanted, unbelieving or just slightly bad-smelling people of their worlds were sent when they died.
A very small number had earned the right to rise up and join them in the heavens, but this stinky, fiery - slightly sticky on all surfaces - place was an appropriate prison for the treacherous Lucifier.
But before Anthorpian began crafting his Third World, to alleviate the loneliness he suffered at the loss of his brother, he created in his image three daughters and a son.
They watched in awe as he crafted The Third World. Conjuring earth and rock and fusing it together, unravelling waves of pure water from his hands and placing every tree and leaf one by one until it was perfect.
But one child was not content to just sit and watch. Anthorpian’s only son - Godfrey - wanted to get his hands dirty. While Ant was busy on one side of the planet, carving out continents from the earth, God was plonking down dinosaurs on the other side. Ant started blowing clouds into the sky, while God was brewing up some magma to have shooting out of the ground at random intervals. Ant was lovingly creating his perfect world, while God was injecting his own brand of chaos.
Chaos that remained unnoticed until the final stages of planet creation, the writing and signing of the Program.
all powerful super omnipotent pyschedelic magical planet making machines ..... why just three dots, yahoo?
so if i dont start a sentence with 'and' how do i write the first two sentences to get the same effect when said aloud ?
you're not the first to suggest its childish, what is it that gives this impression? is it the childish "people falling over" bit? the general vibe? all criticisms welcome, be brutal