Hollygolightly
New member
In no particular order:
1. Skinny dipshits who constantly threaten to kick my ass.
Yeah, try it pussy. See below if you brought friends.
2. Skinny dipshits who expect their friends to fight for them after running their mouths.
You'll look funny stuck up your friend's ass. Have you made your peace with God? Well, he doesn't exist, so you're fucked.
3. Women who tease.
Do it or don't , there is no in-between and there is no stopping once the train is on the tracks. If you do, great. If you don't, then don't act like you do.
4. Lawyers.
Money-grubbing ghouls whose occupation it is to siphon a livelihood off of human misery. We'll start the cleansing of the world with these fuckers and move on to career politicians.
5. People on the same road as me.
Because the dumbasses can't drive and won't get out of my freakin' way. I commute 38 miles one way and I swear I'm going to lose it one of these days.
6. Career politicians.
You know, the assholes like the Kennedy family who have been raised from birth to be politicians. Because the law can no longer be understood by the common man. See lawyers, above.
7. My neighbors.
Because they are either hillbilly dumbasses who have as much class as a piece of dogshit or because they are young punks who park their cars in my way and cop an attitude when their mommy tells them to move. See item one with regards to having your ass handed to you.
8. Teenagers.
For angst and your constant, droning mantra consisting of "ihateschoolmylifesucksithinki'llcommitsuicidei'llkickyourasswhydon'tyoulikemeblahblahblah." Fucking get over it. Read my other posts about this subject.
9. Ex-military and wannabes who talk about all the secret missions they went on.
Because they didn't. The closest most of these dumbasses got to combat was the condiment fight they had in the mess hall in their pussy, low-stress version of basic training. Being a supply clerk in Germany during Desert Storm does not qualify you for a combat service ribbon, pal. Those of us who actually fought (like in Kosovo, Bosnia, and Somalia, fucker) would like nothing more than to gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck you in front of your fat-ass mom. Hold my beer, leg, while I kiss your girlfriend. Pussies.
10. People who think that tattoos make them badasses.
Because they aren't and tattoos aren't scary. They're not even particularly painful. If you want a tattoo, fine. Get one and shut the fuck up. Don't trot around like you're bulletproof. If it hurt when you got it, it's going to hurt when I kick your ass.
11. People who think they can play guitar better than I.
You can't, so stop trying asshole.
12. People who won't drink my beer.
I worked a long time to get the recipes right, so drink it, fucker. If you like to drink that rice-brewed horse piss you call beer, do it at home. Don't expect me to stock my fridge with it so that the only person who drinks it, you, won't have to strain his tastebuds with a real beer. Pansy. If it tastes heavy, your tongue needs exercise. Ask sinned_girl to help you out.
13. Ganstas
Because they're fucking annoying and their music sucks. Pull your pants up and get off your fucking cell phone.
14. People who talk on their cell phones while driving.
You're driving too slow and you're weaving because you are too stupid to talk on the phone without using your free hand to gesture, even though the person on the other end can't see your wild gesticulations. Pull over or hang up, but get the Hell out of my way.
15. Wannabe potheads.
If you don't do drugs, don't pretend that you do. Don't pretend to be stoned when you're not. No one cares if you do and it's not cool to pretend, so stop you little oxygen thief.
16. People who don't know when to shut the fuck up.
My fat-ass brother-in-law fits into this category. Everything that pops into his head immediately falls out of his mouth. He's a dumbass. Don't be a dumbass. Shut the fuck up.
17. Internet poser-assholes.
These are the people who are real shitheads in forums but who are totally different in person because they know that being an asshole IRL (in real life) might just land them a real-time punch in the mouth.
18. Men who spend as much time on their hair and appearance as women.
You're a man, even though you're a Nancy-boy. You're supposed to be hairy, chicks dig the weathered look, and your hair is fine. Now, get in the scrum so I can kick your ass. Chicks dig scars, too.
19. Missionaries.
Man, don't get me started about these assholes. Wait, too late. Convert me? No, convert you. Let me tell you about that collection of poorly-written narrative you hold so dear. It didn't happen and the translation you use was butchered to suit King James' tastes. Now, get the Hell off my lawn.
20. People who think "gay" is "in."
It's not. It is fine to be gay. So, you're gay. Great. Rock on. It is not cool to be gay, any more than it is cool to be straight. That's just how you are. You don't get special treatment nor an award. Gay is not for everyone, especially heterosexuals, so piss off and don't expect us to be bi-curious.
There's a lot more, but 20 ought to be enough to start a holy war.
1. Skinny dipshits who constantly threaten to kick my ass.
Yeah, try it pussy. See below if you brought friends.
2. Skinny dipshits who expect their friends to fight for them after running their mouths.
You'll look funny stuck up your friend's ass. Have you made your peace with God? Well, he doesn't exist, so you're fucked.
3. Women who tease.
Do it or don't , there is no in-between and there is no stopping once the train is on the tracks. If you do, great. If you don't, then don't act like you do.
4. Lawyers.
Money-grubbing ghouls whose occupation it is to siphon a livelihood off of human misery. We'll start the cleansing of the world with these fuckers and move on to career politicians.
5. People on the same road as me.
Because the dumbasses can't drive and won't get out of my freakin' way. I commute 38 miles one way and I swear I'm going to lose it one of these days.
6. Career politicians.
You know, the assholes like the Kennedy family who have been raised from birth to be politicians. Because the law can no longer be understood by the common man. See lawyers, above.
7. My neighbors.
Because they are either hillbilly dumbasses who have as much class as a piece of dogshit or because they are young punks who park their cars in my way and cop an attitude when their mommy tells them to move. See item one with regards to having your ass handed to you.
8. Teenagers.
For angst and your constant, droning mantra consisting of "ihateschoolmylifesucksithinki'llcommitsuicidei'llkickyourasswhydon'tyoulikemeblahblahblah." Fucking get over it. Read my other posts about this subject.
9. Ex-military and wannabes who talk about all the secret missions they went on.
Because they didn't. The closest most of these dumbasses got to combat was the condiment fight they had in the mess hall in their pussy, low-stress version of basic training. Being a supply clerk in Germany during Desert Storm does not qualify you for a combat service ribbon, pal. Those of us who actually fought (like in Kosovo, Bosnia, and Somalia, fucker) would like nothing more than to gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck you in front of your fat-ass mom. Hold my beer, leg, while I kiss your girlfriend. Pussies.
10. People who think that tattoos make them badasses.
Because they aren't and tattoos aren't scary. They're not even particularly painful. If you want a tattoo, fine. Get one and shut the fuck up. Don't trot around like you're bulletproof. If it hurt when you got it, it's going to hurt when I kick your ass.
11. People who think they can play guitar better than I.
You can't, so stop trying asshole.
12. People who won't drink my beer.
I worked a long time to get the recipes right, so drink it, fucker. If you like to drink that rice-brewed horse piss you call beer, do it at home. Don't expect me to stock my fridge with it so that the only person who drinks it, you, won't have to strain his tastebuds with a real beer. Pansy. If it tastes heavy, your tongue needs exercise. Ask sinned_girl to help you out.
13. Ganstas
Because they're fucking annoying and their music sucks. Pull your pants up and get off your fucking cell phone.
14. People who talk on their cell phones while driving.
You're driving too slow and you're weaving because you are too stupid to talk on the phone without using your free hand to gesture, even though the person on the other end can't see your wild gesticulations. Pull over or hang up, but get the Hell out of my way.
15. Wannabe potheads.
If you don't do drugs, don't pretend that you do. Don't pretend to be stoned when you're not. No one cares if you do and it's not cool to pretend, so stop you little oxygen thief.
16. People who don't know when to shut the fuck up.
My fat-ass brother-in-law fits into this category. Everything that pops into his head immediately falls out of his mouth. He's a dumbass. Don't be a dumbass. Shut the fuck up.
17. Internet poser-assholes.
These are the people who are real shitheads in forums but who are totally different in person because they know that being an asshole IRL (in real life) might just land them a real-time punch in the mouth.
18. Men who spend as much time on their hair and appearance as women.
You're a man, even though you're a Nancy-boy. You're supposed to be hairy, chicks dig the weathered look, and your hair is fine. Now, get in the scrum so I can kick your ass. Chicks dig scars, too.
19. Missionaries.
Man, don't get me started about these assholes. Wait, too late. Convert me? No, convert you. Let me tell you about that collection of poorly-written narrative you hold so dear. It didn't happen and the translation you use was butchered to suit King James' tastes. Now, get the Hell off my lawn.
20. People who think "gay" is "in."
It's not. It is fine to be gay. So, you're gay. Great. Rock on. It is not cool to be gay, any more than it is cool to be straight. That's just how you are. You don't get special treatment nor an award. Gay is not for everyone, especially heterosexuals, so piss off and don't expect us to be bi-curious.
There's a lot more, but 20 ought to be enough to start a holy war.
