I'm 21 years old I'm really catholic, recently went through the hardest thing, I feel used, like I gave away the most precious thing for me my virginity, ( never had sex I did other things feel unpure) now it's somethings I can never regain. Many say I'm technicly a virgin, for me it has to do with purity.
Long story short, I broke up with him I couldn't take it anymore. It was to much pressure, he wasn't loyal, he was abusive, and I would get this feeling of being used.
This was my first serious boyfriend and its been 3 months since I broke up with him, when things ended it was really bad he ended up saying "She sucked my dick and she wasn't good, I'm a guy sex is a huge thing for me" This made me heart broken, I've never been through something like this.
I believe in God, and pray every day, ask for forgiveness. I just can't forgive myself its to hard for me, I think how could I have permited this to happen to me? how can I believed him? Its to late to go back and this kills me, I don't want to be like this, I want to be pure like before and not have those memories. I let all my guard down something I never do, and this happened to me, I thought he was a nice guy that it was right, I was so naive. I feel like I'm worthless, I hate myself, have so much guilt and regret.
I try my very hardest to be strong, pry and be positive. But I remember things and just don't feel like I'm the same person. I've been through depression I used to not eat and sleep all day, I'm better now. But I feel ashamed I can't bring myself to tell my friends or family about what happened, because they now that I'm very catholic its not like me to do that kind of thing, I don't know what to do or how to handle things. I have hope that things will get better, but its been 3 months I still feel a lot of pain.
Long story short, I broke up with him I couldn't take it anymore. It was to much pressure, he wasn't loyal, he was abusive, and I would get this feeling of being used.
This was my first serious boyfriend and its been 3 months since I broke up with him, when things ended it was really bad he ended up saying "She sucked my dick and she wasn't good, I'm a guy sex is a huge thing for me" This made me heart broken, I've never been through something like this.
I believe in God, and pray every day, ask for forgiveness. I just can't forgive myself its to hard for me, I think how could I have permited this to happen to me? how can I believed him? Its to late to go back and this kills me, I don't want to be like this, I want to be pure like before and not have those memories. I let all my guard down something I never do, and this happened to me, I thought he was a nice guy that it was right, I was so naive. I feel like I'm worthless, I hate myself, have so much guilt and regret.
I try my very hardest to be strong, pry and be positive. But I remember things and just don't feel like I'm the same person. I've been through depression I used to not eat and sleep all day, I'm better now. But I feel ashamed I can't bring myself to tell my friends or family about what happened, because they now that I'm very catholic its not like me to do that kind of thing, I don't know what to do or how to handle things. I have hope that things will get better, but its been 3 months I still feel a lot of pain.