<---The Suicidal Guy / anyone live in cloverdale? come pick me up!!! Only Nice Girls*

I

IzzySparkle

New member
Hell maybe if someone wants to turn it into the book and has specific questions or wants to know more just ask... I'll help put it together if you give me a fair %%%. Sorry bullshyt... it's just I don't know how to deal with all the pain so I've written everything she's put me through, what i've felt, my thoughts, everything...

Yo bullshyt, me tring to hook up with some pretty girls and start a new life with someone was a book? or my actually story of what happened to me and what i'm going through? The dreams, the letters to that little bitch... and what I wrote to my friends and family... and the pages and pages of everything she's said to him and everything I'm thinking, etc. That I posted on my website so I don't fill up the wtf forum in 36 pages... later... at least my site it runs on down the page not keep going page to page to page... you just scroll and scroll and scroll. http://www.xpecialist.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=5

I don't care if I had all the latest equipment or cars in the world - still doesn't change the fact taht I want to love somebody, and hold them close, and tell them I love you, and hear it back, and lye together in bed and sleep well together and have that sense of purpose and meaning. I fear being alone worse than anything in this whole world. Show me that I'll find another one everyone's so sure I'll find her... it took me 18 1/2yrs for this one and look what she's done to me, for loving her!!!
 
Assuming my mom will pay me the $4300 by Dec. and my dad (4000k) assuming he won't pay anything because he's always broke and owes everyone millions of dollars, and always trying to borrow money... then I'll work out: The formula to see if I can purchase this car and be able to own it for a few years... my goal is to buy it and pay it off in 6-12months... depending on how everything goes. I have a job that if I work hard with overtime/double overtime for the next few years: I'll make about lets see here now:

An 8 hour day at $11.33 = $90 x 5 days a week = $450

+ 3 hours overtime @ $17 = 51 x 4 days a week = $204

+Saturdays (8 hours) double overtime @ $22.66 = $181

So per week on average i'm making $450 (Reg.) + $204 (O/T) + $181 (D-O/T) = $835 per week

So therefore $835 per week x 4 weeks would = $3340 - Government Fee's (CPP/UI, etc.) and $55 Dollars Union Fee's and $200 For Rent (One Bedroom Place To Save Money) and $150 per month on food.


So the answer to this question not including anything I make on the side, at home... or for someone else, or selling any of my equipment or artwork would = that I have an approximate income coming in month at at least: 2k after everything's been deducted (work) and approx 500 (mom) and if anyone else (like my best friend =1k,and other people 2k) pays me back I will have more. So on average I'm looking anywhere from 2.5k a month to 5k a month depending how everything goes... which = I should be able to pay the car loan off and everything in approx 8 months or sooner. 20k divided by 2.5k = 8 months... that's minimum... the likely hood is, I can get a part time job, or sell the stuff I already own... to get this car. Mine as well work my ass off for something I want, because last time I worked my ass off for my girlfriend, and she basically left me for numb nuts, with no dick or brains so heh now I feel I want this, this car I'm looking at was originally 35k brand new, and well it's 15k used only 62k km's on it, and well I've check it out and well with insurance, and my custom paint job (with my art work), and with my car stereo system installed back home... this would be one fucking sweet ride... and so basically if you want anything in life you have to go out and get it, you have to take risks... I mine as well put myself in debt 20k because I know i'll work my ass off for it, and I always have cash somewhere, and I can always get cash from some peoples I know if desperate, but anyways mine as well get something for me... and well I want this car. and I really love it. I always up hold my credit, and try to hit my goals it hasn't failed me for the last few years... hell I've done alot of things, and learned many lessons... I grew up as this poor boy, and well I turning everything around by working hard and look to be a rich boy with lots of cash, and a nice future, and lots of girls :D. Well anyways time will tell - where i'll really end up... but "you have to trip, (a couple times) till you learn to walk". Maybe I am taking a risk by wanting to purchase this car so soon, or maybe I'm making a great step... because if I bought this car for 15k and 18k after taxes by the time I get my art painted on there about ($1k), the navigation system in place ($500), the alarm system in place ($750)and my stereo system placed in there back home ($2k)... I'd have no problems makeing at least 5k+ more off it... I could probably sell it in 2-3 yrs from now for about 25k with ease. So i'm sort of making an investment, because I can see value and style and money in this car... I don't want a beater that's just going to die on the road or where i'm going to have to continously take it in to get fixed, why waste my money on a piece of shit, I mine as well buy something I like for me, that I know I can pawn away when I find something better and my life is better established? It's going to be good on gas and it has leather seats, and tinted windows and everything I've saw in so many cars for half the price as is... basically I've seen similar to these cars for anywhere from 25k - 50k and the only difference is just the effort the guy put into it... basically I'm buying this car, because I think I can get my money back in 2-3yrs and in the mean time have something nice to drive, until I can afford my jag or mercedes or my classy old man car... so tell me if I'm a fool, but I turn to my family but when they say I can't do it, and i'm only going to screw myself over... it sort of hurts, because I think I know what i'm doing, I am a grown boy, and I can think for myself, they seem to judge me because of this whole cutting my neck and how stupid it was, and for a person that doesn't even care. Well you see, I can't really argue with that, but at the time I loved this girl more than anyone will ever know, and I was crazy about her, and you do stupid things when your in love, no matter what it is. People rob the bank because there girlfriend wanted money and they don't have it... and well I did it differently I wanted to prove to her she meant everythign to me, and well I cut my throat in front of her... where I could of died... Anyways off that topic, it's over with, i'm fine, it's healing, and i'm sure someone will come and love me for money, or to make me cum or for me to hold them close, and care for them dearly, if they want a man to fall head over heals for a pretty lady, it'd probably be me, because I haven't really had the selection as you may say: She may have been pretty but she wasn't very bright, and as for style well just so long as you respect me, and not trying to fuck me over, and love to make out and have sex, well I think well have a better relationship than i did with her... anyways they obviously don't know that my intelligence level is way above an average human. Note: I did graduate with honors (top of the school), and I have worked in many fields (construction, silvi-culture, production worker)... and in technical/mechanical/electrical fields too... also making designs better than any of the big companies out there like nike, and well I was training to be a a corporate manager, but heh too much paper work... so boring and annoying people, and so anyways I've taken martial arts, and I want to learn how to use the sword, as well as Wesley Snipes in Blade maybe it is just a movie, but he must have some instructor to teach him how to do things properly... and I've just learned alot of things, I have became sort of a jack of all trades, and I'm only going on 21 all my life been is work and work and more work... and then heather and then it was work and her, and work and her, and work and fuck, etc... so what does that say? My life is obviously on tract, I do have the work ethic to go out and get what I want... and I am a business man that can basically talk anyone down to get the best price, and the best deal. Well anyways ... this turned out into a letter lol... just showing my mom that I know what i'm doing. Fuck everytime I got to show her, I know what i'm doing, fuck it's like she is the only thing stopping me from having my fun and getting what I really want. Everytime I see something I want someone has something else to say, but that's because they might have nothing and ended up getting fucked over, but you think i'm that stupid to fuck myself over? Okay okay I know you are just going to bring up this whole episode with Heather, because I was fucking crazy about her okay... I fell head over heals, and well what can I say when I love my women, I love my women... I would have done anything for her, probably still would, but anyways hopefully this time I find a proper girl, one with manners, and sweet and caring, and well loves to fuck... Anyways my mom says your better off with a piece of shit car. and I'm like why the fuck would I want that? Why would I even bother paying 2 bucks for a piece of shit car? the gas on older cars isn't very efficient, also the car isn't exactly road safe, it's probably has something wrong with it, and is probably rusted, or has dents or something and well there's always something wrong with it, and the fucking insurance is still expensive, so why pay for a cheap piece of crap car, and look like a bum or something for the next 10yrs? I will just pay off this car off so that I own it, and enjoy my ride in a luxury vechile, with air conditioning, and no worries about it breaking down left and right, and low miles, and good on gas, and tinted windows, p/w everything, and 200+ hp, and spoiler/race muffler/mags, etc. and it shows you have style and money... and then you get pretty ladies, and something you can pawn off and get better for in 2-3 yrs or whenever, what you going to do with your old car, rat-bag it into the ground till it doesn't drive no more... and well that's just going to be a mess in itself cause you'll have to pay for someone to take it away, and you'll have to just waste a bunch of fucking time on a no good for nothing pos car... So fuck I know I want this... and i will try to talk the dealer down.

LOL that one girl said I seem scary, I'm not scary I'm just very - what would you say: cautious, and overwhelmed. I like to live high up, and I like to have a secure future and lots of money... and I wanted someone that I could love and hold and take care of. That's what I really want, everything else is just a toy, but to use the italian side of me (my big heart), is to be able to make a girl feel loved, and secure inside. My security was feeling i'd be with heather for a long time, and I wouldn't have to worry about ever finding another girlfriend... because I was attached to her so much that, when she left I nearly died to let her go. I never wanted to be alone, I fear being alone worse than anythign on this planet. All I did was try my hardest to love her, and I would have done anything, and well I just hurt that after all that time, everything she put me through... that she'd just hurt me so, when I would have gave my life for her. And well if I where to meet the girl that can make me cum daily, and is very pretty, and is willing to put 50/50 into the relationship,... well then maybe I could love you more... my only problem is, if I get attached, hopefully you don't want to leave, because that's basically what happened, I got to attached to her, and it only pushed her away, but I want to be able to cuddle, and hold, and make out, and have alot of fun and have sex daily because that's what I'd end up doing... I love to make mad love... not much for conversation, but definately having some fun behind close doors. I always went for hours with her, I might cum fast if I like you, but wait 15min it'll get hard again and we can go for at least another hour :P... so don't worry about it. You'll have your fun too!!!
 
OH my fing God. The fucked up part is you spammed similar shit accross other sites too.

Take a deep breath and listen. If you're trying to get advice or input, try to keep it short. Not for nothing but your post croosed the line from long to Rambling about 12 paragraphs back. To be honest I just couldnt take emough time out of my life to read it.

Just give a brief description of said issues, and I'm sure people here will be more than happy to offer advice. Although They may tell you to do something that'll get you arrested. If your issues take more that a couple or three paragraphs to express, then you my need to seek professional advice. I'm not jamming ya, I'm just thinking of your best interests.
 
So anyways I still haven't got any hot girls emailing me from cloverdale saying they want to hook-up an fuck, and be the one girl I can sleep with and take care of... and I still haven't got any inputs of whether I should buy this fucking car based on my pay check and other finances?
 
Well there now I got another yes by someone else that isn't related to me... lol, my problem is I require other peoples inputs and opinions before I act... To ensure that it really is worth my wild, and that I have done the right thing, basically my problem was I would ask heather a question and she wouldn't know, and I'd give her a bunch of options and she had no comments, she was basically a moron, but I ended up loving her anyways... Whether she could help or anything was out of the question, no she couldn't but all I wanted from her is to be loyal and respectful had she done that we'd still be together... and buddy why the fuck don't you come pick me up - you know the times I read your on AOL what in the fuck is up with that? Are you a poor boy? DSL only fucking 30 per month, and your always connected!!! I put it in my 2nd posting or something... monday - thursday after 7pm, friday after 4pm, and sat after 4pm... anyways then you can check out this ride I want to buy, and hopefully hook me up with some kind hearted, loving gals... with some smarts and hearts. Smarts = more important than looks... and A heart well that = most important I think, because I don't want to love another bitch... I want someone that will love me ---> for me this time... Well goodnight peoples got to get up in the morning... Oh and for the people that said I'm crazy and have problems, well duh... I got fucked over for caring about someone tell me how you deal with it? Because I'm curious, mine is writing everything I think and feel down... and well some people just don't care so they don't have to worry about what I'm going through... but heh I'll get this car and I think i'll be happy, I feel pumped about crusin around in it already scoping out some whitey tighty's or tighty whitey's w/e man ... my problem will be whistling at them (I can't whistle), also I'm shy - so fuck hopefully they try to pick me up... lol. Seriously once I get them in bed they won't leave, but it's getting them there first, once they get there then I can loosen up do my thing and we can start a relationship from there... like I did the last one... Anyways peace...
 
still too long; rule of thumb: if i wouldn't feel comfortable quoting most of it, it's too long.

and if i quoted that, i would do this to it:



can you work within that amount of space?
 
I agree with Kitana, get the fuck out, enjoy life, go to stanley park and walk around, its very nice their. Fuck(I mean this figuratively) chicks, all they'll do is screw u the fuck over (most of them) and the one that wont u'll meet out of nowhere and unexpectedly. And man, u arent going to have much luck finding girls on a world wide forum, sorry dude. Get a friend to set you up or ask someone out from work or something. I also agree with Max, you should seek a professional to talk to (no offence or nothing, I would talk to one if I could) cause they are professionals and will be able to talk to you. They'll listen to long stuff (most, if not all, people on this site wont). And I dont think you shud buy the car. If you want a girl so bad ur ginna need all the money u can spare to spend on her ass.
 
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