The real reason why life sucks

K

kx2_90

New member
I've spent a ton of time thinking about this, and i have come to the realization that life either sucks or is wonderful, depending on what you're willing to accept about life.

check it:

(1) no matter where you live, you have to work in some way to live. this could be like us (adults) in the developed world, where we have to have jobs to continue to afford to live (regardless of your level of luxury; you gotta have money to trade it for food even).

(2) life includes death, guaranteed.

(3) there will always be something you have to do but would rather not do.

i'll give you an example of (3) that's a bit personal but should make sense: tomorrow through friday i have a seminar to attend on teaching math to high school kids. i will be tired and turned off from the material the whole time. i won't learn anything new. in order to do this, i will wake at 07:00.

now, there are two ways to look at all this:

(a) you can hate everything and piss and moan about every little thing that life brings you (including the occasional car accident) because these unpredictable (or even predictable but unwanted) tasks / roles / duties you play are not what you would rather be doing at any moment,

or you can (b) enjoy the freedoms you have in life, no matter how few or how many (again, a choice based upon your point of view). you can recognize that not being the most popular kid in the class or not having the easiest and best-paying job are actually among the least important things in life and the quality of your life can skyrocket.

i'm tired of hearing people bitch and whine about everything, as though they were half god and life should consist only of people bringing you gifts or reminding you that they value you.

step 1: accept that without the bad parts, you would never enjoy the good parts of life.

step 2: understand that though everyone has intrinsic value, you probably value yourself more than you should, and you probably expect that others will likewise value you more than they ought to (this is the biggest problem with people in america today).

step 3: recognize that your ups, downs and ultimate death are uniquely yours. stop to think about the fact that when you have that fatal auto accident, your radio will probably keep playing as though you didn't.

step 4: resign yourself to the fact that you will not be most famous, you will not be most wealthy, most important, most beautiful or most talented of all people.

most of what i'm reading on 2005's "life sucks" is people whining about things that are irrelevant to all other people and mostly irrelevant even to the people posting them. what you see through your eyes is your own unique set of experiences, and yes, they are extremely valuable; but most of it can and should be taken in stride and with the deep and consoling understanding that you, too, are as unimportant in the grand scheme of things as any of us.

i guess what i'm getting at is: THE QUALITY OF COMPLAINTS HAS REALLY GONE DOWN HILL AROUND HERE LATELY.

~ dan ~
 
you seem like a pecimist trying to be an optomist. you are basically telling people not to dream, or to vent their anger, regardless of how large to problem is or how small it is. Life is definately what you make of it, and people should definately learn and grow from experiances. The best way to learn? Talk & Teach. That is in large part what this forum is about. And guess what else, when people post here, its about problems in THEIR world. If it was about large problems that concerned others and the world, this would be the channel 5 news. :(
 
news programs are designed to sell you whatever disaster is new and exciting enough to keep you tuned in through their commercials.

now, to discuss the rest of what you said, that's not really the point of what i'm saying. i'm trying to encourage people to re-evaluate all their problems before deciding which should be posted here and what aspect of them should be reviewed for sympathy / understanding / consolation.

you can't tell me that it's the end of anyone's personal world when they have a particularly bad day or a group of quirky teachers. people can dream any way they'd like, as long as it doesn't prevent them from appreciating the good and the bad their lives already have to offer them.

what i'm really saying in this post is to live your life and not require the assistance or recognition of others to see its intrinsic value.

the fact that we're all very small in the big-ass world picture helps when you have something that goes wrong; put it in perspective and it's usually reconcileable, transitory, and far less extreme than it immediately feels.
 
to be honest i agree very much with you in alot of what was said. ESPECIALLY that people seem to go to others to find value within themselves. That's actually something ive only started learning recently. I want to remind you however that that internet isnt age biased. The people on here range from 12-50. That being the case, If someone sees that most of their new teachers look like they suck, it could mean fights at home because of bad grades, and 9 sucky months over the next year. It could be a very big deal for them. One they need to vent. However if they are looking for sympathy, they wont neccesarily get it here. Alot of people will tell them relax, it'll get better and tell them stories from there past.

Overall this seems like an advice forum to me, where some people help with past experiances and anicdotes. I have had a VERY sucky 4 month period. I posted about my job a couple days ago, got a few pm's from people that cared, and it mattered alot to me that people saw my point of view. It's nice not to feel all alone when you are going through big changes. I'm not putting down your advice, all I'm saying is that what's small to you may be large to the next guy, and that in the long run none of the problems matter. However if they stayed bottled up, they would become much worse over time. I think people should be encouraged to vent, no matter how small the issue. If it really is useless, they seem to get a tounge lashing anyway. To be honest it might put into perspective how small the issue is, and it won't bug them again. Alot of the advice you gave comes from 20+ years of experiance. Alot of these people are on year 2 of learning and they have a long way to go. That's all life is really, a giant school that teaches us about people, ourselves, inner strength and what truely matters to us. :)

just my 2 cents.
 
silva: i value that very much, especially with your opinion and the maturity in your outlook. i probably neglect the age range these days, or perhaps the demographic here has changed, and i should be more aware. i just sorta think that the more we realize how trivial our problems can be, the more we can beat them.

i guess having my last grandparent on her death bed and watching as her life shrivels has made me get my own "problems" in perspective (i don't see much of any of my life as problems as a result -- just annoyances) and that's weirding me out at the moment? my goal in the post was essentially to advise people to re-evaluate themselves when they feel bad; most people have a lot of great things going already and don't need to drag themselves down by overreacting to the bad.

~ dan ~
 
now, see, that's a great story, too. not only did you have a shitload of great experiences, you were able to take away from it some really permanent absolutes in both memories and 'lessons learned.' how many people, do you think, are unwilling to take away lessons and wind up resenting the memories?
 
To be honest im not sure if it,s a "willingness". I think that many people without a support structure dont learn the neccessary tools to grow from bad experiances. It's definately painful to heal without help, and to blame yourself for somethings, yet to stop and realize the things that werent your fault or beyond your control. I think many choose to simply cut ties, or bottle up things that hurt them. It's an easy and surefire way to not deal with them again. Sadly I think MANY people today suffer from it. I've been lucky enough to really effect a choice few people over the choice of my life. I have been able to be strong "for them" for a little until they were stable and secure enough to keep the ball rolling on their own. I think the largest issue people have is safety. No one likes being hurt. and no one wants to face the same hurt, all over again, by themselves. I think many people look at dealing with issues as walking down a dark and scary forest path. At first they refuse to go at all. then over time with help and support from someone they trust they might travel down the road a ways. Later they may be able to travel that harder healing path on there own. Ultimately I think it is our jobs as human beings, teachers, and learners, to become guides on that path. Im not sure if that answered your question. if it didnt then ill just say 80% of people dont deal with their issues. :D
 
clearly... a great reply linksy...

on another note, some guy just came into our office shaking. (I work for a bail bonds company in Sacramento, CA). He handed us a letter that didnt have his name on it and asked if he could have some coffee. Inside was a prescription for 4 different drugs and a note. the note said "learn these if you want to keep me right when i see you". dude started talking about us changing his life and left. Can you say creepy? He definately had valuum and vicatin prescribed though. Maybe i shouldn't of thrown them out. lol. they sell pretty well here. Sigh. Someone is always WAY more fucked up than me.
 
I think a lot of people who post in "Life Sucks" are just ranting. I don't know that they necessarily feel their lives suck, they probably just didn't know where else to post their story. I dunno. /shrug

Anyways, that's just my take on it.
 
I have to say you certainly have a point. But lets face it people winge and moan..... and eventually they wake up and realise... hey life is shit and there is nothing I can do about it and start trying to make the best of it. Personally ,despite knowing this, I like to have a good bitch and a rant and inflict it on the fellow members of the wtf, muhahaha. It also nice to know that everyone else is having the same problems/and/or having a really crappy day! :cookie:
 
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