The Official Newspaper Survival Odds [Field Guide]

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Gambling is the future of the media! Newspapers aren't much good to anybody looking to make a buck off investing in their stock—but that doesn't mean that you can't make your newspaper fortune through sweet, sweet gambling, come on now seven seven seven baby need a new pair of shoes, yea! After the jump, we've listed the half-dozen most famous economically challenged papers in the country, along with our official odds for their long-term survival. Place your bets, and give 5% to the house:


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The New York Times
The problem: Plunging revenues, no real salvation plan from management.
Odds of survival: 1-2. It's the Citigroup of newspapers. Someone, somewhere will save it, somehow.
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The Los Angeles Times
The problem: Its parent company may be declaring bankruptcy soon.
Odds of survival: Even. There are enough billionaires in LA with big egos that one of them is probably willing to subsidize it for the sake of their own legacy.
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The Boston Globe
The problem: Plummeting value; is obviously the unwanted youngest child of its parent company.
Odds of survival: 3-2. Will likely survive (barely), but could also be gutted to an embarrassing extent.
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The Miami Herald
The problem: Recently put up for sale by debt-laden McClatchy.
Odds of survival: 2-1. If you do not consider a two-page weekly digest of Dave Barry and Carl Hiaasen columns to be "survival," we lower its odds to 3-1.
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The Newark Star-Ledger
The problem: Holding onto life by a thread in a dying city.
Odds of survival: 5-1. Who's going to save it?
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The Rocky Mountain News
The problem: Scripps threatening to shut it down if it can't find a buyer soon.
Odds of survival: 10-1. Has no compelling reason to exist (Denver will still have its Post), and will not be bought, barring a Powerball win by a top editor.
[Pic: Martin Gee]

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