S
subtrain
Guest
I have often wondered what was the difference between an addict and someone who was dependent upon a drug. With my experiences in life, I am usually cautious to judge others. I do my best to begin judgement with myself and that keeps me plenty occupied.
OK, so, self, are you only dependent...? or are you an addict? What really is the difference?
- If the doc prescribed the meRAB does that mean I am not an addict? / I have a legitimate medical reason for medicating.
- If I buy off the street does that mean I am not dependent? / I only buy when I feel like I wish to get high. I make that choice.
Sometimes I believe I make excuses for myself. I know I do. My wife tells me I do, so I know I must, right?
Well, OK, no more excuses.
I am an addict.
Period.
Well, wait.......?
The only time (times) I have ever been physically dependent on drugs is when they were legitimately prescribed by a doc.
I have never been homeless and living on the street.
I have worked and been successful.
Married and raised exceptional children. (proud bias involved)
I never thought being medicated effected my work performance, my sexual performance, my competitive performance, or any other of my personal performances,...I was incorrect!
I have never bought the drug I was dependent on off the street or from more than one doc.
I always ran short of pills, no matter how many were prescribed yet, there were times when I never filled the first prescription and did without.
I grew up in the " age of recreational drug use", form Timithy Leary to Rastafari pot smoke, never jonesed for any street drug.
I never smoked cigarettes in a family full of smokers until I went in the military at age 18.
I started drinking alcohol around the age of 18 when 18 was the legal age and I still drink, sometimes more sometimes less.
So, when and how did I become an addict?
Or, better yet, if you asked everyone around me, who say they know me, with the exception of my wife and doc, is subtrain a drug addict? Their response would be,...."what the hell are you talking about?"
My wife knew I was an addict first, she is extremely smart and pretty, lucky me! My doc knew second, he's pretty smart but, not as smart as my wife, and then me. I found out last.
I am an addict.
I am not just someone who had so much pain I could not lift a coffee cup.
I am an addict.
Because it is not where I was, it is where I am.
I am an addict and I am in recovery and I will be a recovering addict for the rest of my life.
Why? Because I never wish to go back to counting pills, medicating my life's expeience, shorting my frienRAB and family of my unique contribution to their lives or being dependent on something or anything I don't need or that takes from instead of enhancing the grace that has been loaned to me.
Addict or drug dependent? I don't know about you. I do know about me.
I know, this last time, after going through withdrawls from suboxone, after going through withdrawls from oxy, after drinking heavy to try to ease the pain before going on medication, the day I finally realized, truely realized, that I was an addict, was the day my life changed and recovery began.
Do I still have pain? Oh yeah! Can I deal with the pain? For now I can.
Do I know what it is like to have so much pain that I don't have a choice.
No! Let me say that again, "no I do not".
And my heart goes out to those who suffer chronic pain so severe that their choice has been taken away.
My doc told me and my research backed him up,...the nuraber one reason for suicide is chronic relentless pain.
So, are you an addict or are you legitimately drug dependent? I don't know about you but I do know about me. I am an addict and at this point a recovering addict.
I was the king for a long time with a wonderful set of new clothes, then I discovered I had been walking around naked, unwilling to admit, I was naked!
In the worRAB of the late singer/ song writer, Rastafarian, Bob Marley, "emancipate yourself from mental slavery, only ourselves can free our minRAB,".
Blessings to all of you, whether you are an addict or just drug dependent! My heart and will is with you every step of your struggle. I hope and pray each and every one of us is successful in conquering our demons and able to one day live the joy of life that has been graced upon our experience here on earth.
OK, so, self, are you only dependent...? or are you an addict? What really is the difference?
- If the doc prescribed the meRAB does that mean I am not an addict? / I have a legitimate medical reason for medicating.
- If I buy off the street does that mean I am not dependent? / I only buy when I feel like I wish to get high. I make that choice.
Sometimes I believe I make excuses for myself. I know I do. My wife tells me I do, so I know I must, right?
Well, OK, no more excuses.
I am an addict.
Period.
Well, wait.......?
The only time (times) I have ever been physically dependent on drugs is when they were legitimately prescribed by a doc.
I have never been homeless and living on the street.
I have worked and been successful.
Married and raised exceptional children. (proud bias involved)
I never thought being medicated effected my work performance, my sexual performance, my competitive performance, or any other of my personal performances,...I was incorrect!
I have never bought the drug I was dependent on off the street or from more than one doc.
I always ran short of pills, no matter how many were prescribed yet, there were times when I never filled the first prescription and did without.
I grew up in the " age of recreational drug use", form Timithy Leary to Rastafari pot smoke, never jonesed for any street drug.
I never smoked cigarettes in a family full of smokers until I went in the military at age 18.
I started drinking alcohol around the age of 18 when 18 was the legal age and I still drink, sometimes more sometimes less.
So, when and how did I become an addict?
Or, better yet, if you asked everyone around me, who say they know me, with the exception of my wife and doc, is subtrain a drug addict? Their response would be,...."what the hell are you talking about?"
My wife knew I was an addict first, she is extremely smart and pretty, lucky me! My doc knew second, he's pretty smart but, not as smart as my wife, and then me. I found out last.
I am an addict.
I am not just someone who had so much pain I could not lift a coffee cup.
I am an addict.
Because it is not where I was, it is where I am.
I am an addict and I am in recovery and I will be a recovering addict for the rest of my life.
Why? Because I never wish to go back to counting pills, medicating my life's expeience, shorting my frienRAB and family of my unique contribution to their lives or being dependent on something or anything I don't need or that takes from instead of enhancing the grace that has been loaned to me.
Addict or drug dependent? I don't know about you. I do know about me.
I know, this last time, after going through withdrawls from suboxone, after going through withdrawls from oxy, after drinking heavy to try to ease the pain before going on medication, the day I finally realized, truely realized, that I was an addict, was the day my life changed and recovery began.
Do I still have pain? Oh yeah! Can I deal with the pain? For now I can.
Do I know what it is like to have so much pain that I don't have a choice.
No! Let me say that again, "no I do not".
And my heart goes out to those who suffer chronic pain so severe that their choice has been taken away.
My doc told me and my research backed him up,...the nuraber one reason for suicide is chronic relentless pain.
So, are you an addict or are you legitimately drug dependent? I don't know about you but I do know about me. I am an addict and at this point a recovering addict.
I was the king for a long time with a wonderful set of new clothes, then I discovered I had been walking around naked, unwilling to admit, I was naked!
In the worRAB of the late singer/ song writer, Rastafarian, Bob Marley, "emancipate yourself from mental slavery, only ourselves can free our minRAB,".
Blessings to all of you, whether you are an addict or just drug dependent! My heart and will is with you every step of your struggle. I hope and pray each and every one of us is successful in conquering our demons and able to one day live the joy of life that has been graced upon our experience here on earth.