J
jewme05
Guest
tell me the best joke ever
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M
Mabes
Guest
whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
anyone can roast beef...
not the best ever, but all i can think of right now
anyone can roast beef...
not the best ever, but all i can think of right now
H
hannah b
Guest
*Ringgggggg Ringgggggggg*
Little Girl: Hello
Man: Hi honey, it's Daddy. Is mommy near the phone?
Little Girl: Nope, she's upstairs with uncle Paul.
*Brief pause*
Man: But sweetie, you dont have an Uncle Paul.
Little Girl: Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom right now with mommy.
Man: OK, here's what I want you to do. Go upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and tell mommy that I've just pulled into the driveway.
Little Girl: Ok Daddy, just a minute.
*A few minutes pass and the little girl comes back on the phone*
Little Girl: I did it Daddy.
Man: What did Mommy do?
Little Girl: She jumpped out of bed, really scared and ran around the room with no clothes on. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on a desk and now she's laying on the floor not moving.
Man: Oh my God!!! What about your uncle paul, whats he doing?
Little girl: Well he got out of bed all scared with no clothes on and he ran around the room like mommy, but then he jumpped out of the window into the swimming pool. Only I dont think he knew you took all the water out to clean it last week, and he hit the bottom of the pool really hard. I think he might be dead!
*Long pause*
*Even longer pause*
*Really Really long pause*
Man: SWIMMING POOL? Hang on, is this 576-8492?
Little Girl: Erm, nope, I think you have the wrong number. . .
Little Girl: Hello
Man: Hi honey, it's Daddy. Is mommy near the phone?
Little Girl: Nope, she's upstairs with uncle Paul.
*Brief pause*
Man: But sweetie, you dont have an Uncle Paul.
Little Girl: Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom right now with mommy.
Man: OK, here's what I want you to do. Go upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and tell mommy that I've just pulled into the driveway.
Little Girl: Ok Daddy, just a minute.
*A few minutes pass and the little girl comes back on the phone*
Little Girl: I did it Daddy.
Man: What did Mommy do?
Little Girl: She jumpped out of bed, really scared and ran around the room with no clothes on. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on a desk and now she's laying on the floor not moving.
Man: Oh my God!!! What about your uncle paul, whats he doing?
Little girl: Well he got out of bed all scared with no clothes on and he ran around the room like mommy, but then he jumpped out of the window into the swimming pool. Only I dont think he knew you took all the water out to clean it last week, and he hit the bottom of the pool really hard. I think he might be dead!
*Long pause*
*Even longer pause*
*Really Really long pause*
Man: SWIMMING POOL? Hang on, is this 576-8492?
Little Girl: Erm, nope, I think you have the wrong number. . .
O
onestep_42
Guest
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10
What happened to 9?
7, 8, 9
What happened to 9?
7, 8, 9
P
Pixiedust
Guest
I love this one. Lady finally gets the Mc Caw bird she has wanted all of her life. He talks and talks all day long, well finally they start arguing and swearing at each other and the bird won't stop calling her names so she takes him and after a bit of a struggle, manages to get him into the freezer where for about a minute he squawks and squawks.Then he was quiet and she thought "he froze already?? Can't be" so she opens for freezer door only to see the bird standing there looking right at her and the bird said "I just have 1 question" The woman says in surprise "what's that"? The bird replies "What did the chicken do"?