D
Dark Stranger
Guest
Due to an overprotective parent, I was never allowed to do things most of the pivotal things teenagers do...like learning to drive and getting a job. Now, at 22, I still have no permit or license, and I've never had a regular job.
There's a chance I might get a job at the local movie theater, and it's scaring the crap out of me. I cried, hyperventilated, and threw up during a panic attack...worrying because I might get hired. How in the hell am I going to cope if I do get the job?
It's not exactly going to be a demanding job...it'll be 'per diem', only a few hours at a time (probably the evening), and I'll be expected to do things like hand out tickets, scoop popcorn and get people snacks in the concession stand. Nothing difficult. The thing is I have many kinRAB of anxiety, like social anxiety and bad self-esteem issues.
I get very nervous talking to strangers, I do not do well in groups or working with other people if said other people are idiots (I have had some good group experiences, but also had some bad ones and I was not the problem), I have a low voice and have trouble speaking up, I don't do well under immediate pressure (like lines out the door), I have never had to work like this before, and I admit it's easy to make me cry...especially when I'm already nervous. And I am always worried I'm going to screw up, even if it's the simplest of tasks. This is from being told all my life I have no common sense (thanks again, Mom).
As far as self-esteem, I worry about the clothing I'll have to wear. I will be highly uncomfortable if I am required to tuck in my shirt...I don't like having the contours of my stomach exposed because I have a very pear-shaped body I am erabarrassed of. I will feel odd if I can't wear make-up since I never go out in public without it (by make-up, I mean black eyeliner; I feel naked without it).
How can I prepare myself for this, or for any inevitable future job? I won't stay hired anywhere for too long if I'm curled up on the floor crying because I'm scared of everything. For the record, I'm not medicated for my anxiety and I can't afford to be because I have no insurance.
There's a chance I might get a job at the local movie theater, and it's scaring the crap out of me. I cried, hyperventilated, and threw up during a panic attack...worrying because I might get hired. How in the hell am I going to cope if I do get the job?
It's not exactly going to be a demanding job...it'll be 'per diem', only a few hours at a time (probably the evening), and I'll be expected to do things like hand out tickets, scoop popcorn and get people snacks in the concession stand. Nothing difficult. The thing is I have many kinRAB of anxiety, like social anxiety and bad self-esteem issues.
I get very nervous talking to strangers, I do not do well in groups or working with other people if said other people are idiots (I have had some good group experiences, but also had some bad ones and I was not the problem), I have a low voice and have trouble speaking up, I don't do well under immediate pressure (like lines out the door), I have never had to work like this before, and I admit it's easy to make me cry...especially when I'm already nervous. And I am always worried I'm going to screw up, even if it's the simplest of tasks. This is from being told all my life I have no common sense (thanks again, Mom).
As far as self-esteem, I worry about the clothing I'll have to wear. I will be highly uncomfortable if I am required to tuck in my shirt...I don't like having the contours of my stomach exposed because I have a very pear-shaped body I am erabarrassed of. I will feel odd if I can't wear make-up since I never go out in public without it (by make-up, I mean black eyeliner; I feel naked without it).
How can I prepare myself for this, or for any inevitable future job? I won't stay hired anywhere for too long if I'm curled up on the floor crying because I'm scared of everything. For the record, I'm not medicated for my anxiety and I can't afford to be because I have no insurance.