tell me what you think about my poem?

cantthinkofany

New member
1.In all this universe take this twinkling star.
2.Around this star take this orbiting earth.
3.On all this earth take this tiny town.
4.In all this town take this house.
5.In all this house take this room.
6.In all this room take this collapsible bed.
7.On all this bed take this spent pillow.
8.And on this pillow which I lay my mortal head,
9.Let me dream of thy wondrous power-
10.That unites the working organs in my head
11.That holds the tissues of each organ
12.That causes cells to form tissues
13.And know what atoms form these cells
14.And also know why atoms behave the way they do:
15.Why protons are so “large” and probably twinkle with charges
16.Why electrons perpetually orbit the protons
17.And why the two are so strongly attracted to each other
18.Like our twinkling star and the orbiting earth
 
I love your poem in that it addresses my long time theory that our atoms are someone elses universe and our universe is someone elses atom.
you can publish your poetry on "Lovely publishing" for free...check it out.-Dave Dawg
 
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