Tableturner

C

cutie bug

New member
Alright I've been an asshole of a newbie to a lot of you. Its only fair karma has dropped this fucking bomb in my lap. A friend of mine we shall call T.B. is a single girl who has just moved to this city. We hit it off when we first met a few months back because we have the same nihlist thoughts. Yesterday she called me with some some news. Her roommate a worthless piece of shit guy that don't pay any bills tried choking her when she told him to leave. She won't call the cops and she is afraid of asking that fuck to leave again. When she told me all this I said I'd call the cops and be right up there but she does not want me to. She said it was her problem not mine. Made me promise not to do anything without her permission.

Thing is I really care about her and our friendship. What if that fuck kills her? But what if the cops check her for weed if I call? Either way I'm in a catch 22 and I'm confused and frightend and so fucking pissed. I'm sorry for being such an asshole to a few of you but that was the only way I could deal with it. I'm not good at handling shit without having a release. I'm just scared...:sad:
 
Well, the shitty thing is, since she's the one being abused, and all the cops are going to have is what she tells them, she's the only one who's going to be able to do anything about the situation. The only thing you can really do is support her and be there for her. Which I might add, may put you into the friend zone. And whether or not that's the place you want to be in is up to you.
 
Thing is she is now acting like she don't want me around. Like she needs to protect me. Man this is fucked up. I grew up after seeing my mom get beat and having my biological dad try to kill me. That shit ain't right! I just want to kill that fucker for hurting T.B. No amount of meds can get this hatred out of me and the whole cops thing is even more fucked up...I got a hoolow point in the next room with that fuckers name on it...and I want to so fucking bad. I'm just trying to keep cool but this isn't fucking right BrIon. I'm 20 for fuck sake! I shouldn't have these thoughts but that fucker shouldn't touch her! I can't think and I feel like a teenager again...I can't communicate all my thoughts at once because I need to settle in between posts.

FUCK!
 
Well, you could visit her, secretly place a hidden camera in her house, record him yelling/beating her, then show the police, who would arrest the guy, who would get set free because she won't press charges. Or you could go over there, and say you are there to help him move his shit out, egg him into a fight, in which it's imperitive that you also have video documentary of him hitting you first, then press charges, get him thrown in jail, and ta da, some dude's life is ruined, and your friend is safe.
 
Or I'll show up like I did tonight after work and she won't answer her door. I'll call here her cell phone will ring and abruptly stop like I've been ignored. She isn't out cause her car is right there in front. I'll walk back to my place and again recieve the message "Its my problem don't worry about it".

Dude give me some credit please. I'm a little crazy maybe but I do think of such things.

Sorry I'm such a fucking pain right now. I understand your trying to help its just I'm confused. Its not like any of you care. Probably shouldn't have made this thread. T.B. is kind of like my best friend anymore. And I'm confused on why she is acting like I'm the fucking bubonic plauge.
 
Well, now that you've showed up. You're going to just have to leave her alone. Forcing yourself on her isn't going to help. You're going to squeeze her so tight that her head is going to pop off if you keep calling and going over. Once is enough. Now she knows you'll be there if she does in fact need help. You can't force her to accept the help, all you can do is offer. Accepting that sucks. But that's the way it is. If you two ever talk about other stuff, make sure to end the conversations by telling her to not hesitate to call you if she needs anything. Subtle constant reminders of your support will do more and go farther than continueing to show up at her door. That move should only be done once, just to prove you'll be there, if your needed.

Like I said, I know it sucks, Hell, I've been there, but after a while you'll learn to deal.

P.S: THis is the internet: appologies are for sissies like Max.
 
Sounds to me like she's been threatened about having "other guy friends."

Or, maybe she knows this guy could tear you limb from limb and is trying to keep you intact.
 
Word. Either way, she's going to have to get help for herself, and large amounts of pressure from you aren't exactly what she needs. Her guy friend probably went through the whole spiel about how guys only want to be friends to get in a girls pants.... yadda yadda yadda... and she said 'but he's different' and he got mad...

Which, mind you, I don't agree with, but it's easy enough to understand.
 
the fact that she has you waiting for permission means she has you classified as the nice guy/friend it seems.

do what you want if you think you need to. if you really think she is in need, you shouldn't have to wait for her to give you the ok.

some girls eat up that shitty treatment.

good luck.
 
thats pretty hard man. however even though the short term causes sound bad you must think about the long erm causes , that could be death. Stand out more as a friend then as a man making a decision. If i were in your shoes id call the police. However if she doesnt want you to do anything.....ur a little stranded. How many other people know about this cept for u and her. the more support you can get from people the better.

u speak of karma? ur karma will help you...im sure of it.

When a door closes a window opens. Remember that and dont give up
 
I had a friend just like that. She was young, stupid and didn't know what she wanted (still doesn't). Instead of an abussive room mate, she had really bad friends and a wild lifestyle. They all got mixed up in twirling the pipe and coke and all that. Great stuff, she lost a lot of weight, meanwhile every one she loved and cared about let her go, well I should say she let us go. We all decided to give her the tough love thing, worked out. She realized that what she was doing was tearing apart her life and friendships and now, if she's not a lying sack of trash, has stopped all that now.
You can't make some one mature, they have to do that on their own. It's part of life. Your friend needs to come to realize that she is in a bad situation and that if she doesn't change it, it will have an impact on her life she'll soon come to regret. All you can do is what you've done, try and support her. Let her go, if she comes around after realizing your not there, the friendship was built to last. If something bad happens, you can't change it. People change, she's your age I'm assuming, she's figuring stuff out, let her figure if she want's to be abused. Why the hell is she living with this guy any ways?
 
If he really choked her, just get a couple friends, some duct tape and wooden bats. Beat the shit out of him, drag him outside, tape him to a bench, and call the cops. If she gets mad at you, fuck her. She just wanted the drama. Some nihilist.
 
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