Suicide thoughts and had actions in the past?

Savhanna M

New member
November of 2011 I smoked synthetic marijuana and had a horrible reaction from it and almost died from it.
I stopped cutting myself doing drugs and drinking after that.
But lately I wanna just die. I've been depressed cause my dad died in October. And there's other problems like my ex, my what I thought was a bestfriend, and family issues. I've called the suicide hotline but it didn't really help much. I try thinking of what my future. But it dosnt help.
I sometimes have visions of me laying in a puddle of blood with a slit neck and a knife in my right hand.
Can someone help):
 
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