I've been suffering so much lately, ever since I got on a spiritual path. I've read about dying to the self, egolessness, the illusion of the world, etc. Alan Watts and Osho. I read this recently but couldn't bear to finish it.
http://www.searchwithin.org/download/realization_steven_norquist.pdf
Is everyone else really me? Am I totally alone, am I the universe looking at it's own face? All of reality is a product of my own imagination, myself being "god", the one consciousness? The world is an empty house, with no-one inside? Of course, this argument's strength is that whatever you say to me is whatever I say to myself, that there is no way to prove anything, and there is no-one else, everything is subjective. I wish I never even head of this, or picked up a single book on enlightenment.
I'm so terribly frightened and alone, I can't enjoy life or people anymore, nothing "my" family says can comfort me, I have no more goals or dreams or hope or love. I feel my sanity slipping, I have nothing to orient myself with. Even love is of the mind, because truth is neither good nor bad, hot nor cold. And there's no way out.
http://www.searchwithin.org/download/realization_steven_norquist.pdf
Is everyone else really me? Am I totally alone, am I the universe looking at it's own face? All of reality is a product of my own imagination, myself being "god", the one consciousness? The world is an empty house, with no-one inside? Of course, this argument's strength is that whatever you say to me is whatever I say to myself, that there is no way to prove anything, and there is no-one else, everything is subjective. I wish I never even head of this, or picked up a single book on enlightenment.
I'm so terribly frightened and alone, I can't enjoy life or people anymore, nothing "my" family says can comfort me, I have no more goals or dreams or hope or love. I feel my sanity slipping, I have nothing to orient myself with. Even love is of the mind, because truth is neither good nor bad, hot nor cold. And there's no way out.