Suboxone...

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emsmom

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Hello everyone,

I wanted to give an update on my life. I started Suboxone about a month ago - on the advice of my Addictions Doctor. I have been her patient since I got home from Rehab last summer (August '08).

So, for those of you who don't remeraber... I was abusing Oxycontin (started out with a Percocet script four years ago for gall-bladder surgery). Just before I went to Rehab, I was taking upwarRAB of 10 Oxy 80's a day. My tolerance developed very quickly cause I was always chasing "the high." I didn't always abuse Oxy's. I abused Percocet for three years before I'd even heard of Oxycontin. The year leading up to Rehab was when I did my worst using.

Anyhow, I slipped a few times since getting clean in Rehab, and when I slipped, I really slipped (took alot of Oxy, almost OD'd once). I always turned back to Oxy's whenever something went wrong in my life. For example, I started going to this group discussion for women who were sexually abused as children (a group of 9 women). Well, of course I had memories and they were rather upsetting, so I used Oxy's to mask the emotional pain. Also, a friend of mine passed away, once again I used. It was really becoming a pattern with me - something goes wrong, I go pick up the drug.

So, my Addictions Doctor and I had "the talk" about Suboxone. I researched the drug, educated myself (pro's and con's), changed my mind about 15 times until I finally decided I'd give it a try. When I read about Suboxone "Giving you your life back" and "This is a miracle drug," I have to be honest - I did not have faith that a drug could make me feel like ME again.

Well, I was wrong, dead wrong! This drug is a mircale drug, in my opinion. I have my life back and it feels SO wonderful. I'd been struggling since leaving Rehab, slips here and there, and I guess I assumed that was going to happen the rest of my life. Us addicts always have to protect ourselves, always be vigilante and always remeraber that "we are addicts."

So when my doctor told me about a drug she thought would "completely give me my life back," I just wasn't really sold on the idea. I am SO glad I decided to give it a try. I feel like I did before I took that first Percocet after surgery (I was 28 years old the first time I took anything narcotic, and lead a pretty normal life before that). I really do have my life back, and I am so grateful to have this opportunity! I feel like I have a second chance at this, MY LIFE!!

I would love to meet some people on these boarRAB who are taking Suboxone and are happy with it - perhaps we can share opinions and suggestions. I'd also love to hear from any folks who have already taken it, are not on it anymore, yet had success with it.

Thank you to everyone for reading. My posts are almost always short ones - I appreciate your time :)

With love,
emsmom
 
The witdrawals off of "any" opiate will make you feel like you are going to die.

Here are my thoughts about suboxone.

My last relapse landed me in jail and, as a result, in an addiction doctor's office. We talked about suboxone. He wrote down the good and the bad of it and said it was my decision (at the time, I was fully detoxed from all opiates). He said that he would support me either way. I talked to my family and gave it a lot of thought. Knowing that if I got caught slipping up one more time that I was going back to jail, I decided to give it a try. My past was riddled with relapses, and I had reservations for more. My counselor also said that he would support me no matter what the decision was.

I decided that my life really did depend on this decision. If I didn't quit drugs once and for all, I was going to die. And, I didn't have a very good record.

Hence, I decided to start suboxone. At first, I thought it wasn't going to work; I still had cravings. But, after about 3 months, it started working. The cravings were gone, and I felt normal again. I graduated from my ninety day stent at out-patient rehab and am actively involved in NA. I feel strong in my recovery and will start tapering off of the suboxone in June of this year.

There is one more important point to make about this drug. I started using opiates for a legitimate medical condition: three degenerated discs in my back. I have been to several doctors since I started suboxone and they all agree that I have some chronic pain in addition to my addiction issues. I was diagnosed with this condition when I was 25. I am now 52.

I reported to my addiction doctor that not only am I not craving opiates, but I also don't have any more pain. He was excited by this and has sent me to the pain clinic with this information. You see, I really did get my life back: I am pain free and free from the drugs that landed me in jail. I don't know what the future holRAB: a lifetime of long term pain and addiction management using suboxone or something else. All I know is that for once in the last 10 years, I have been pain free and addiction free.

mk
 
well I can tell you about MY experience with SUBOXONE. I took up to 50 pills of vicodin a day for 10 years, then was introduced to SUBOXONE when I was ready to get clean. I was given the highest dose of 32mg a day. Was on that for 5 long years, felt GREAT!!!! Then found a doctor that would help me get off it because the one I was seeing was a script writter! So this past year and a half they got me down to 1mg, my lat pill was march 2nd. So I was on SUBOXONE for 6.5 years, let me tell you even people on it for 2 months go through hell and hell and hell getting off it. It is harder getting off SUBOXONE then it is vicodin! I am telling you from my experience I am still withdrawling! I would never recommend SUBOXONE to anyone ONLY because the withdrawls make you feel like you want to die! It is the worst drug I have ever been on IN MY LIFE! For my doctor to tell me oh you will withdrawl for a week maybe and here I am at almost a month and 7 ER visits later???? oh heck no! HECK NO!!! Crawling out of my skin, bathroom every 5 minutes, cant sleep, arms and legs twitching, sweating then cold, cant stay awake cant sleep, going out fo your mind! This drug might work GRAT for you, I am just sharing MY experience. Good luck !!
 
Hey!

I am so glad you posted an update!!!! SounRAB like things have really been moving and shaking for you! That makes me very happy that you sound so good.

I have heard a lot of pro's and con's of this drug too.. For some it's a living nightmare to get off of and for others it was what they needed to feel whole again and mentally get control of the addiction and then SLOWLY wean off the sub.... when you are better able to handle it.

Everyone is different and that is what makes human beings so great! I am here to support you the whole way thru... Post even if they are short...we will all be wondering how you are doing and it will help others out there to know how this drug is effecting you! I know this weekend aone you have helped me out in more ways than I can count

I hope happiness keeps heading your way!!! I will post more tomorrow when I am not seeing doubles of everything I type!! hahaha

You and yours will also be in my prayers tonight!]XOXOXOXO
 
Hey everyone,

Today was a great day :) I opened up to you all last night and it felt great. I'd been lurking around these boarRAB for months now, but not really talking about me. I'm thankful to have this board and want to thank you all for your comments.

Trailor - Thanks for your post. You and I have been through some similar situations and it always feels better to know you're not alone.

5years - I have to disagree with you. I don't think Suboxone is only good for "getting used to living without the high." Sub has given me my life back. I hadn't been high from Oxy's in a long long time, and I wasn't using every day. I'm not even thinking about getting off Sub. I don't know when that will be, so I'm not going to dwell on it. I am thankful that I feel like "me" again and that is ALL thanks to Suboxone.

MK - Thank you so much for your post. I can relate to your worRAB and I appreciate your knowledge. I didn't think Suboxone was going to do for me, what I'd read it had done for others. I did not have faith, however my decision to start it was based on desperation. I needed to believe, even if only a little, that there was something out there for me and once I did, I started Sub and have been more than happy with the results.

I have a herniated disc in my back, which is the reason I continued on Percocet four years ago. I had my gall-bladder removed, got a script for Perks, noticed it took my back pain away and asked my Family Dr. for more. That's how my addiction started. I was 28 years old when I took my first Percocet.

Well, since I started Sub, I have not had back pain. I didn't realize how much I needed this until I did it, make sense? So, I also do not have cravings and I am pain-free. I feel as though I really did get my life back.

Like you, I don't know what the future holRAB, however right now I am content, I am in love with life and most importantly I am happy! Genuinely happy and clean for the first time in four years.

How long have you been on Suboxone? I look forward to reading about your journey (the taper, the results, how you're doing) and hope I can learn something from you :)

Thanks again to all who have read/written - Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Hugs,
emsmom
 
Hi emsmom,
I don't have any advice on the suboxone, but just wanted to sympathize with you on your situation. I've always noticed that I started medicating myself more heavily when bad things or bad memories sprang up. Not to steal your post but I have had several miscarriages (one 2nd trimester) which were all very hard on me. Honestly, that's why I quit my counseling sessions. That seems like all they wanted to talk about. That just makes me want to use more! Just nurab it, then it wouldn't hurt so bad.... I'm trying to work through things the right way now. Things are tough sometimes but we can do it, right? As far as the subs, I say as long as they work well for you and your Dr is willing to taper when your ready to get off them, then hey, whatever keeps us clean. I've researched them, but I don't really believe they're the right choice for me, but everyones different. Good luck to you!
 
Suboxone is a great drug for ONE THING: to get used to living without the high. (after the 1st dose anyways) to get your mind right in a sense that you will finally be able to one day suffer the withdrawl & maybe make it through.
 
So this discussion interests me particularly because I'm tapering off of my last 2 mg currently and am having a horrible go of it. HOWEVER, I consider myself blessed to be released from the hell I was in when I was taking up to 240 mg of methadone/day (before that I was using up to 18 norco (10/325 hydro/acetominophen a day). Granted, I had a serious illness and surgery but that was no excuse for the abuse of those narcotics. That is how I rationalized it. So I started on 12 mg of suboxone a day about 6 months ago and have slowly tapered down to the 1 2mg tablet now. This past month my doctor recommended I try going down to 3/4 of a 2 mg tablet a day (1.5 mg). Even with that simple small reduction I simply could NOT perform at work. I was constantly anxious and tired and just plain out of it. I got warned at work that my performance wasn't usual and was written up. Because I can't afford to take time off to go through this right now, what I plan to do is call my doc tomorrow and tell him I'm just going to have to be maintained on this one whole pill a day until I can maybe go away in the summer and do the dirty deed of going completely off. Even though I'm feeling like a failure, I still believe suboxone can be very good for people with extreme addictions to opiates/even heroin addicts. BUT, be careful! You can still get a little high off of the "normal" feeling the suboxone gives you and may be tempted to take more than prescribed. So proceed with caution because I HAVE experienced mild opiate high effects when taking the sub. That's when you know you are on too high of a dose. So....

all of that said CONGRATS you have come this far and celebrate that you are moving forward to a great recovery. And as a previous poster mentioned... ANY opiate you withdrawal from completely is going to make you feel like you're going to die... it's the noreponephrine being released from your brain. So eventually IF you decide to come off of the suboxone (although many people maintain healthy and productive lives staying on it indefinitely... it just completely depenRAB on what the addict wants for themselves), you will eventually have to bite some more bullets. But for now, enjoy your accomplishments and decision to take your life back. It certainly isn't easy. And for that I give you a virtual pat on the back!



thanks everyone for your bravery with being so open and honest in sharing. It really does help to know there are others out there like me. :wave:
 
skinnyboy,

Please stay on the original thread topic and support the original poster.

I have moved the question portion of your post to a new thread:
"Will I still have a job?"
 
From what I understand, suboxone is supposed to help with the wd's from opiates. It seems as though it is being used as a substitute for opiates and it has some NASTY wd's of its own.

While I'm glad that you feel like you have your life back and did research before deciding to take it, how long are you planning on taking it? How are you going to cope with the withdrawals from the suboxone when you come off of it?

There was a thread a couple weeks ago about this and I stand by my thoughts on it. I think that it is just swapping one drug for another and the person taking the sub is not addressing the issues of why they use in the first place.

I'm not saying that this is the case for everyone, but I have seen a lot of negative posts about this medication. Good luck and I hope that you don't need to be on it for very long.
 
I can't speak for emsmom, but as for me, I will cope with the withdrawals the same way as I did multiples of other times from the other opiates that I was addicted to. After about four weeks of misery, I was fine.

Hopefully, this time, three months of counseling and ? months of working the twelve steps of NA will be enough to keep me clean.

mk
 
Skinny-boy - Thanks for your worRAB of encouragement :) I can see that Suboxone helped you as well, even though now you're having a tough time getting off it. I am trying to look at the positive side here - You found something that worked for you, helped you get clean and are now slowly getting off...with some struggle. I weigh these two things and still feel that Sub was a good decision on your part.

Suboxone wasn't an easy decision for me, but I'm glad I chose this route cause I am on a different path in life and I am enjoying the outcome :) I choose not to worry about what's to come - and I'm confident in how I feel now, and will continue to focus on that.

Magpie - I really have no idea how long I'll be on Suboxone. That will be a decision I make with my Addictions Dr. when that time comes around. I asked her how long I'd be taking it, her response was "Just focus on how you're feeling 'now' don't worry about later."

I have to admit, I've read some pretty scary things about withdrawals from Sub and it is always, even if in the back of my head, playing some part on my mind. I know what withdrawal from opiates feels like - I'm no stranger to that, however I've chosen to deal with that when the time comes. It may sound as though I'm pushing it to the back-burner, but instead I'm just choosing to not worry for now, make sense?

I can relate to your comment about swapping one drug for another - I used to feel the same way about Methadone and Suboxone, until I did some research for myself and found that there are many benefits other than just for withdrawals. I am seeing an Addictions Counsellor four times a week, as well as my Addictions Dr. once a week. I am currently addressing the issues around my addiction. If someone goes on Sub, takes it daily and goes on their merry way, I don't feel they are working on recovery - That's where I feel Sub is not a good idea and that's where my thoughts of swapping one drug for another come in. I am working very hard on the situation regarding my using. In fact, I am confident that I'm doing very well. I'm journalling every day (and referring back to when I began journalling - It really puts things into perspective and shows how far I've come), I've made some major changes in my lifestyle. For example, my little sister has been an addict for about 3 years. I spoke to her when I got out of Rehab and told her she neeRAB to get clean before her and I can resume our relationship. I love her and miss her terribly but I have to protect myself and not be around people who are using. She is just now reaching out for help and I'm proud of her - But for now, we still not in each others lives every day. I'm here for her when she's ready to commit to recovery but I have to be selfish and work on my own issues before I can even consider helping someone else. I am also exercising every day, trying to release those natural highs I'd lost since I started using. Most importantly, I am involved with people who are focussed on recovery (NA). I mentioned a few posts ago that NA didn't work out for me, however I still have the same frienRAB from those meetings and we speak on a daily basis. I still have my sponsor - She still wanted to be someone I could turn to even though I wasn't attending NA meetings anymore. I have people in my life now who are focused on staying clean, and I'm learning new ways to do things, without having to get high.

So, thanks for your reply - Even though it wasn't everything I wanted to hear, It helps in so many ways cause it forces me to see the other side and the opinions of everyone, not just the ones who agree with me :)

MK - I suppose I'll do what you have planned - I'll cope with the withdrawals when the time comes. For now, I am ok with how my life is and will worry about the "not so great things" later when I'm ready to come off Sub. My counselling is going very well - I'm getting to the route of so many issues, issues I didn't even know bothered me until counselling began. Like you, I am hopeful that councelling and recovery work will help me stay clean, once I've decided to begin a taper off the Sub.

Thanks again to all for your replies. I'm trying to gain everyone's perspective so I can fully understand about Suboxone. I am thankful I have you all to talk to and learn from. Hope everyone has a great week :)

RegarRAB,
emsmom
 
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