S
Short1
Guest
Hey guys. First time posting here so forgive me if I am posting in the wrong place. Don't want to trigger anyone, so have posted a trigger warning in the title.
I'm on medication (Lyrica) for anxiety and have been on it for 4 months. the anxiety stems from being r*ped I didn't really take it for the first 2 months (silly, I know) and as such I had almost 2 full months extra medication when I picked up my last prescription.
Over the last 6-7 weeks, I started to take my meRAB properly, as prescribed. I didn't notice much of a difference in my anxiety levels, really. On a very bad day, I would take an extra 50mg (prescribed 150mg per day), but it didn't make much difference, although my panic attacks decreased in frequency.
Now though, I'm worried I may have myself in a situation that I can't get out of. While I started off taking an extra 50mg on a bad day, it gradually increased and I'm now at a stage where I take about 450mg per day, instead of my prescribed 150mg (so, three times my dose). I sometimes take more, up to and above 600-700mg if I'm feeling really bad. I realised that this may become a serious problem if I didn't stop and so I opened up to a friend and my mother about it.
My mother reacted badly (I live at home while I'm trying to get a place back in Uni), and so I'm not able to go to her again about this. My psychiatrist doesn't even believe I was r*ped or that I drink excessively (I used to drink somewhat excessively, but curbed that before this issue with my tablets happened), he thinks I'm exaggerating (those were his exact worRAB. Apparently it's not possible for me to drink 2 bottles of wine before heading off to a nightclub and drinking some more), so I can't turn to him about this and frankly, I don't trust him enough to turn to him but there is no other psychiatrist in my area and it's not possible for me to travel to see another. I'm under a free mental health scheme and this is the only psychiatrist that I am eligible to see under this scheme. Otherwise, I'd be seeing nobody and receiving no treatment for my mental health condition. My friend has been supportive, but isn't somebody I see very often so it's not like he can be there all the time and I wouldn't want to place that much of a burden on him anyway. It's my issue to deal with, not his.
I don't feel I'm at "addiction" stage yet. I had an addiction to something for a few years and I'm not at that desperate, would do anything for it, stage yet. However, if I go even a day without the meRAB, I get nervous, more anxious and I think about it quite a lot throughout the day. I opened up to some online frienRAB, one of whom is a recovering heroin addict, and she is offering me support as much as I'm willing to take it.
After opening up to her, I tried to reduce how much I was taking, with the intention of weaning myself off of them, but then my r*pist had me attacked by a gang in a bar (long story, he's stalking me basically, I'm not willing to go to the police, don't want to discuss that really) and I had the biggest panic attack I've ever had, right in the middle of the street after I ran out of the bar. The police, my friend and my entire family saw me in this state and I've been incredibly anxious ever since (even though it was only about 2 weeks ago), struggling to even leave my house without looking over my shoulder. Since then, my resolve to wean myself off has crurabled and I'm taking more and more every day.
The thing is, I'm quite ashamed to seek help and aside from that, I can't go to the doctor for at least a few weeks because my mother is going through a nasty separation and won't have any money for at least a few weeks.
Is abuse of prescription medication something that I could speak to NA about, or do they only deal with illegal drugs? I know what I'm going through with my meRAB probably doesn't sound like much but it's scaring me because I basically take as many as I need to get "high" each day and it's worrying me.
Sorry for the length of this post and again, sorry if I posted in the wrong place.
I'm on medication (Lyrica) for anxiety and have been on it for 4 months. the anxiety stems from being r*ped I didn't really take it for the first 2 months (silly, I know) and as such I had almost 2 full months extra medication when I picked up my last prescription.
Over the last 6-7 weeks, I started to take my meRAB properly, as prescribed. I didn't notice much of a difference in my anxiety levels, really. On a very bad day, I would take an extra 50mg (prescribed 150mg per day), but it didn't make much difference, although my panic attacks decreased in frequency.
Now though, I'm worried I may have myself in a situation that I can't get out of. While I started off taking an extra 50mg on a bad day, it gradually increased and I'm now at a stage where I take about 450mg per day, instead of my prescribed 150mg (so, three times my dose). I sometimes take more, up to and above 600-700mg if I'm feeling really bad. I realised that this may become a serious problem if I didn't stop and so I opened up to a friend and my mother about it.
My mother reacted badly (I live at home while I'm trying to get a place back in Uni), and so I'm not able to go to her again about this. My psychiatrist doesn't even believe I was r*ped or that I drink excessively (I used to drink somewhat excessively, but curbed that before this issue with my tablets happened), he thinks I'm exaggerating (those were his exact worRAB. Apparently it's not possible for me to drink 2 bottles of wine before heading off to a nightclub and drinking some more), so I can't turn to him about this and frankly, I don't trust him enough to turn to him but there is no other psychiatrist in my area and it's not possible for me to travel to see another. I'm under a free mental health scheme and this is the only psychiatrist that I am eligible to see under this scheme. Otherwise, I'd be seeing nobody and receiving no treatment for my mental health condition. My friend has been supportive, but isn't somebody I see very often so it's not like he can be there all the time and I wouldn't want to place that much of a burden on him anyway. It's my issue to deal with, not his.
I don't feel I'm at "addiction" stage yet. I had an addiction to something for a few years and I'm not at that desperate, would do anything for it, stage yet. However, if I go even a day without the meRAB, I get nervous, more anxious and I think about it quite a lot throughout the day. I opened up to some online frienRAB, one of whom is a recovering heroin addict, and she is offering me support as much as I'm willing to take it.
After opening up to her, I tried to reduce how much I was taking, with the intention of weaning myself off of them, but then my r*pist had me attacked by a gang in a bar (long story, he's stalking me basically, I'm not willing to go to the police, don't want to discuss that really) and I had the biggest panic attack I've ever had, right in the middle of the street after I ran out of the bar. The police, my friend and my entire family saw me in this state and I've been incredibly anxious ever since (even though it was only about 2 weeks ago), struggling to even leave my house without looking over my shoulder. Since then, my resolve to wean myself off has crurabled and I'm taking more and more every day.
The thing is, I'm quite ashamed to seek help and aside from that, I can't go to the doctor for at least a few weeks because my mother is going through a nasty separation and won't have any money for at least a few weeks.
Is abuse of prescription medication something that I could speak to NA about, or do they only deal with illegal drugs? I know what I'm going through with my meRAB probably doesn't sound like much but it's scaring me because I basically take as many as I need to get "high" each day and it's worrying me.
Sorry for the length of this post and again, sorry if I posted in the wrong place.