joker_curty
New member
Can anyone help me with writing a blurb for my story. Here it is.
Mr. Hobwell was watching television when there was a knock at the door, so he grabbed his walking stick and answered the door, it was the police. “Is there a problem officer?”
“Are you alright, people have been hearing noises from here?”
“No, officer, its been a normal day and i havent heard anything."
“Keep your eye out, OK, just be careful and have a nice day.”
The police officer left and Mr Hobwell shut the door. He sat down and the door bell rang, it was his grandson, Dylan. Dylan came round to talk about what’s going on in their lives, Dylan heard a huge bang so he went to investigate.
*
He was in Mr Hobwells bedroom and seen that one of the walls had collapsed, there was a door in the wall, so he looked*to see if the door was still keeping the cottage stable, it wasn’t, Dylan opened the door, He seen that a pile of books had fallen down. He picked them up and noticed a goldish brown piece of paper, he picked it up. It was a map from 1766.
The map was in Spanish, it read “El mapa del tesoro de oro” No-one knew what that said. No-one in that area had a computer or a book of translations. Dylan and Mr. Hobwell went to tell Dylan’s friends; John, Liz, Tom and Jasmine, but they wanted to get in on finding what the mystery is. Dylan said no to all of his friends, which meant that he didn’t even get the translation for one word. They started to wonder how they can translate it , they walked all around the cottage looking for ideas but they couldn’t get any ideas.
*
They spent hours thinking of where to go, after a while Dylan had an idea of going to a translator in town "Thats too far away i live in the middle of hardly anywhere"
"Well,Yes but it might be treasure so we could drive to town,its only fifteen minutes away." They drove off to town and found the translator.
The translator looked at the ancient piece of paper and told Dylan and Mr Hobwell "This is a map from 1766 but ill give this a try because its really old its been smudged and its faint but your in for some luck, it says, The Map Of The Golden..." "Sorry I cant read that last word, its really smudged."
Dylan whispered to Mr. Hobwell, "It sounds like treasure"
"Ill get my assistant maybe he can read it he has better eyes than me." said the translator. "Peter can you help me please?"
"Yes, that says the map to the golden treasure." Mr. Hobwell and Dylan both had a smirk on their faces. They snatched the map out of the assistants hands and ran out the translator shop. They drove home as fast as they could, when they got home they stood in the middle of the living room and followed the map.
*
They both went exactly where the map showed them but they couldn't find the treasure anywhere. Then Dylan figured out that the cottage was different, the bathroom was where the living room is, the kitchen was in the bedroom and the dining room was where the pile of books are. The map showed them that the treasure was in the kitchen but they couldnt figure out what room the kitchen is in. So they looked in every room, in every knuck and cranny but they couldnt find it anywhere.
*
They tried lighting a match and putting it underneath the map to see if there was any clues, but there was no clue, they tried holding the map up to the light but that didnt work. They tried everything that they could think of but nothing worked, but a few minutes later Mr. Hobwell said "Because i'm quite old i might know what to do, it might be crazy but you might just find something interesting. "Come with me!" Mr. Hobwell said with a croaky kind of voice. Dylan and Mr. Hobwell both went in the kitchen because that was a very dark room, they shut the door, and held the map to the ceiling and a faint drawing of a chimney breast glowed. So they went up to the chimney breast in the living room and noticed a plastic brick at the top of it Mr. Hobwell said "Strange, I have never seen that brick in the whole 34 years i have lived here." they both felt the plastic brick and as they touched the brick several more bricks fell out. Behind the bricks that had fell out there was gold coloured bricks and coins. They both reached in and touched each brick and coin separately and they both noticed that the gold was actually plastic. They had been fooled.
Mr. Hobwell was watching television when there was a knock at the door, so he grabbed his walking stick and answered the door, it was the police. “Is there a problem officer?”
“Are you alright, people have been hearing noises from here?”
“No, officer, its been a normal day and i havent heard anything."
“Keep your eye out, OK, just be careful and have a nice day.”
The police officer left and Mr Hobwell shut the door. He sat down and the door bell rang, it was his grandson, Dylan. Dylan came round to talk about what’s going on in their lives, Dylan heard a huge bang so he went to investigate.
*
He was in Mr Hobwells bedroom and seen that one of the walls had collapsed, there was a door in the wall, so he looked*to see if the door was still keeping the cottage stable, it wasn’t, Dylan opened the door, He seen that a pile of books had fallen down. He picked them up and noticed a goldish brown piece of paper, he picked it up. It was a map from 1766.
The map was in Spanish, it read “El mapa del tesoro de oro” No-one knew what that said. No-one in that area had a computer or a book of translations. Dylan and Mr. Hobwell went to tell Dylan’s friends; John, Liz, Tom and Jasmine, but they wanted to get in on finding what the mystery is. Dylan said no to all of his friends, which meant that he didn’t even get the translation for one word. They started to wonder how they can translate it , they walked all around the cottage looking for ideas but they couldn’t get any ideas.
*
They spent hours thinking of where to go, after a while Dylan had an idea of going to a translator in town "Thats too far away i live in the middle of hardly anywhere"
"Well,Yes but it might be treasure so we could drive to town,its only fifteen minutes away." They drove off to town and found the translator.
The translator looked at the ancient piece of paper and told Dylan and Mr Hobwell "This is a map from 1766 but ill give this a try because its really old its been smudged and its faint but your in for some luck, it says, The Map Of The Golden..." "Sorry I cant read that last word, its really smudged."
Dylan whispered to Mr. Hobwell, "It sounds like treasure"
"Ill get my assistant maybe he can read it he has better eyes than me." said the translator. "Peter can you help me please?"
"Yes, that says the map to the golden treasure." Mr. Hobwell and Dylan both had a smirk on their faces. They snatched the map out of the assistants hands and ran out the translator shop. They drove home as fast as they could, when they got home they stood in the middle of the living room and followed the map.
*
They both went exactly where the map showed them but they couldn't find the treasure anywhere. Then Dylan figured out that the cottage was different, the bathroom was where the living room is, the kitchen was in the bedroom and the dining room was where the pile of books are. The map showed them that the treasure was in the kitchen but they couldnt figure out what room the kitchen is in. So they looked in every room, in every knuck and cranny but they couldnt find it anywhere.
*
They tried lighting a match and putting it underneath the map to see if there was any clues, but there was no clue, they tried holding the map up to the light but that didnt work. They tried everything that they could think of but nothing worked, but a few minutes later Mr. Hobwell said "Because i'm quite old i might know what to do, it might be crazy but you might just find something interesting. "Come with me!" Mr. Hobwell said with a croaky kind of voice. Dylan and Mr. Hobwell both went in the kitchen because that was a very dark room, they shut the door, and held the map to the ceiling and a faint drawing of a chimney breast glowed. So they went up to the chimney breast in the living room and noticed a plastic brick at the top of it Mr. Hobwell said "Strange, I have never seen that brick in the whole 34 years i have lived here." they both felt the plastic brick and as they touched the brick several more bricks fell out. Behind the bricks that had fell out there was gold coloured bricks and coins. They both reached in and touched each brick and coin separately and they both noticed that the gold was actually plastic. They had been fooled.