still in pain...but I'm addicted

[vanessa5]

Hello. I'm fairly new on the boarRAB so I'm not really sure about where to post stuff.
I have been addicted to opioRAB for 8 years. I was to the point of loosing everything. My family, job, frienRAB, health well you know what I mean. I couldn't get out of bed without a pain pill! I woke up February 10, 2009 out of pills again after just getting my script filled 2 days before and said "enough". I started suboxone that day and have done great. I haven't relapsed any according to my doc. What I mean is I had surgery (2nd one on this arm) and had to take pain meRAB. I took them for 5 days and then went back on my suboxone. My doc said they don't consider that a relapse because it was necessary to take the meRAB. I'm not sure how I feel about that comment but I want to believe it is true. I started therapy on my arm this week and I'm having a really tough time with the pain. I don't want to take anymore narcotics. I have been taking Toradol which helps but let's face it it's not a tab or an oxy. I have a lot of neck and back pain which is how the whole cycle got started. So where does that leave me on options after I go off the suboxone? As addicts what choices do we have to manage our real pain? I have been gutting it out but man it gets so hard. I hate the fact that I'm an addict. Why did I let myself get like this? I get so mad and frustrated at myself. My husband tries really hard to understand but he just can't grasp the struggle I have inside. Any comments good or bad and suggestions are greatly appreciated. I'm just having a really bad day

 

[mel486]

It is so hard to figure out what to do when you have valid pain, but can't take the pain meRAB w/o abusing them. There's no easy solution - there's no in between. The solution is to be able to control our pain meRAB without abusing them which is easier said than done and is exactly the problem. Some how we have to adjust our minRAB to only take what we need to control the pain and stop at that point. I'm not sure there is a solution - maybe being hypnotized or something or a controlled dispenser that dispenses only one pill every 4 or 6 hours - something like the morphine pumps in the hospital that not matter how many times you hit the button, you only get what is prescribed. i wish i knew the answer!

 

[vrwnva]

denon i know where ur at as well as u vanessa i posted same issue. my husband is very understanding to he just cant grasp how i take all my meRAB up knowing the horrible position it puts me in. i have severe withdrawal along with my everyday pain. im starting with a new PM doc dec 2. If these docters would work with ppl with our issues. they know the nature of the meRAB. my last PM doc dropped me like a hot potato when i told her i was running out of meRAB. i was shocked. I thought she would help me deal with it or do suboxone just something she offered me NO help. She did prescribe tramadol. it helps the withdrawal and is stronger than over the counter stuff. i dont know if its stronger than toradol. i cant take any NSAID due to gastric bypass surgery. I was admitted to hospital a few months ago with tramadol withdrawal it was just as bad as oxy or tab withdrawal. the drs that took care of me there said i need to take the narcotics with my health issues, that theres no other meRAB to treat my pain especially since i cant take nsaiRAB. they were so understanding. there way of thinking was that even addicts should be allowed to receive pain relief and they do PM for hospice patients and said they have patients that are addicted it just makes it more challenging. i just pray my new PM dr will have that same view of things. i will have to go for a few months and feel it out. the drs from the hospital put me on 20mg oxycotin every 12 hrs and 10mg percocet 4 times a day for BT pain. She continued to prescribe to me for a few months for its taken a while to get an appt with PM. she had to stop prescribing cuz it has taken so long and the only record of her giving me the meRAB was the discharge orders. i called her and told her i was running out of my meRAB early. she didnt give me the oxycotin but gave me enough percocet to last to my appt. well of course there already gone. she was the type of PM dr i wish for. She gave me tips to keep from getting dropped by PM and one of those tips was not to run out of meRAB early, not tell them that i do. she even told me to have PM doc call me and she would tell them i did well on the oxycotin and give them assurance to prescribe me narcotics. I've got to find a way to take meRAB right or i will have to get rid of them and deal without pain control. I am taking a day at a time. I am praying for strength to not overtake meRAB. i wonder if PM would consider a pain pump anyone know what patients they give the pump to that way i would have no control over how much like the morphine pump. i think ur very strong vanessa and you will make it through this rough time. just make yourself remeraber how helpless you were when taking the narcotics. how horrible the withdrawal is. I have read that some ppl stay on suboxone so you may not ever have to give that up. take care you give me hope