Hey everyone,
So sometime last Thursday, I stole some stuff from the Apple store close to where I live. To be exact, I stole two iMac desktops, three keyboards, and five games. As I was casually walking out the store, I hear a voice from behind me say, "Excuse me, sir. Can you wait right there a minute?" I stop and turn around to see it's a manager. So I walk a little faster towards the exit and then I start running, while still holding all the goods I've just pocketed. I get to the door and run out and down the street.
To my surprise, the manager is still running after me yelling, "Stop! Right now!". I turn around, put the stuff down, flip him off, pick the stuff back up, and continue running. I get close to my section 8 apartment complex and surprisingly, he catches up with me, which is weird cause I was a state champion track star in high school three years in a row, I guess he has experience, too LOL! So he tackles me and tells me the cops are on their way.
When I fell, I broke my nose and the two computers I was carrying. So I was wondering...
1) Does anyone have the number to the Apple headquarters so I can call and complain about the harsh treatment I got while at the Apple store?
2) How much would Apple be willing to give me for breaking the two computers I've stolen? They were pretty expensive so I imagine they owe me a lot.
I'm not too worried about the nose thing, since I was also an all-star wrestler on my high school team. I once put Mike Tyson into a coma, so I'm used to the pain.
3) Does anyone know why Apple store managers can be such jerks? I don't think that doing something as small as stealing a couple of things that don't amount to much could be a good enough reason for hurting someone. Especially someone as hardcore as me.
So please, answer my questions, Yahoo. My court date doesn't start until next Monday, (I'm out on parole lol). So I need to have some good evidence that proves Apple or nobody else should have stopped me from taking those computers I wanted.
I think you should all respect my authority.
So sometime last Thursday, I stole some stuff from the Apple store close to where I live. To be exact, I stole two iMac desktops, three keyboards, and five games. As I was casually walking out the store, I hear a voice from behind me say, "Excuse me, sir. Can you wait right there a minute?" I stop and turn around to see it's a manager. So I walk a little faster towards the exit and then I start running, while still holding all the goods I've just pocketed. I get to the door and run out and down the street.
To my surprise, the manager is still running after me yelling, "Stop! Right now!". I turn around, put the stuff down, flip him off, pick the stuff back up, and continue running. I get close to my section 8 apartment complex and surprisingly, he catches up with me, which is weird cause I was a state champion track star in high school three years in a row, I guess he has experience, too LOL! So he tackles me and tells me the cops are on their way.
When I fell, I broke my nose and the two computers I was carrying. So I was wondering...
1) Does anyone have the number to the Apple headquarters so I can call and complain about the harsh treatment I got while at the Apple store?
2) How much would Apple be willing to give me for breaking the two computers I've stolen? They were pretty expensive so I imagine they owe me a lot.
I'm not too worried about the nose thing, since I was also an all-star wrestler on my high school team. I once put Mike Tyson into a coma, so I'm used to the pain.
3) Does anyone know why Apple store managers can be such jerks? I don't think that doing something as small as stealing a couple of things that don't amount to much could be a good enough reason for hurting someone. Especially someone as hardcore as me.
So please, answer my questions, Yahoo. My court date doesn't start until next Monday, (I'm out on parole lol). So I need to have some good evidence that proves Apple or nobody else should have stopped me from taking those computers I wanted.
I think you should all respect my authority.