Starbucks

Clocker would like to thank weenden for the new job announce a few wee changes to the Starbucks procedure.

From now on there will be one size, called "a cup".
Go ahead and ask for a "venti" or any other unintelligible size you can make up...you'll get "a cup".

All coffee will be French Roast, served black.
Again, feel free to blather on about "half frap" and "mocha" and whatever else you think you might want- you're getting French Roast in a "cup".


These two simple changes will make my life a lot simpler and will speed up our service immeasurably.

OK, belly up to the bar folks, your barrista is ready!
 
I take ill to being served coffee in a cardboard cup - the planet is buggered enough already.

Clocker's cup modification will greatly enhance my coffee experience I vote he becomes CEO.
 
Biggles said:
Clocker's cup modification will greatly enhance my coffee experience I vote he becomes CEO.
Click to expand...
Thank you.

Biggles, you get to move to the front of the "Cheer Chain".

Let me explain how this will work under my new administration.

The first person in line offers to pay for the next person's order.
The next person- obviously overwhelmed- does the same, and so on, down the line.

This is cute and has garnered a lot of media attention lately but is a royal pain for the server and cashier.

My simple modification goes like this...
You order and offer to pay for the next person as well.

I take your money and pocket it, giving you nothing.
Same for the next and the next, etc.

It's easy to see how this will make me very cheerful.
Furthermore, our corporate carbon footprint is greatly reduced as we no longer have to buy, stock, ship or grow coffee.
Al Gore is quite on board with the whole concept as well.

But what, you say, of the coffee growers?
Simple...they switch crops and grow opium poppies which depresses the market for heroin, pretty much bankrupts Afghanistan and removes the Taliban from power.

So you see how we all benefit.
I'm happy, Al Gore and Mother Earth are happy, you can be pleased that you're aiding the War On Terror- not to mention being freed from the ravages of caffeine- and those cranky Afghanis can get back to doing what they're really good at...making pashminas and rugs.

World peace ensues!
Merry Christmas to all!

Please speak clearly and drive round to the pick up window.
 
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