Even herbal medicines are not cheap but in researching SJW I did a report of it recently and discovered that there is no scientific evidence that it is effective for depression. But anything is possible and worth a try. I do believe that if you keep whatever it is bottled up inside of you is also not good. You can treat depression but you still need to talk about it with someone. Don't you have at least one of the those 4/5 people in your life that you can talk to and admit that you are somewhat depressed. You don't have to go into detail but sometimes it is just a relief to say it out loud. If I had a friend that had any problems I sure would want to be able to help them in any way that I could and sometimes just listening is all that a friend can do but you might be surprised at how helpful telling someone can be....they might even be able to guide you in some way...or to just give you a hug which also very helpful. Whatever you do you need to continue to push yourself to get out and do things ...if you are allowed get a small pet(cat or dog) or something to take care of or you yourself do some work at a shelter for animals would help you tremendously....You would be very surprised. I am so sorry your mother isn't someone you can trust to listen to you since you must be very young to not want to tell a doctor(who has heard it all) that you are depressed. Any medical doctor can prescribe an antidepressant(you don't have to go to a mental health professional) and your mother isn't allowed to know why you went...even if she is responsible for paying the bill she isn't allowed to know why you went so you can make up any story if you are afraid she will not support you. I also know that being a student can be very depressing for a lot of guys and girls so you are not alone in the depression and it is to bad your school doesn't offer some relief in that area. Perhaps you need to stop school for awhile and return home? Or do you think mom would be too hard on you? Do you have a dad?..or any sister/brother or some family meraber that you can talk to even like over the phone...you just need to put your trust in someone. If you reached the point of wanting to harm yourself then you must speak to someone Check your local phone book to see if there is a crisis hotline in your phone book that you can call and speak to someone...you don't have to give your name...then go to your local emergency room and tell them you feel like hurting yourself....Somewhere along the way sweetie you have gotten lost so tell one of your frienRAB and although it isn't their problem I bet there is one of them that would be more than willing to sit with you and listen. Even in good mother daughter relationships daughters don't always want to share terrible things with their mothers and it is then you need to trust someone. My own daughter now is 40 and I have just learned after all these years that she too was in trouble as a teen and to this day she has never told me but her sister recently told me of what happened...I have to say who ever helped her(and her frienRAB at the time did help her) I would of thanked them myself. We had a good relationship but sometimes you just don't want to tell mom. Good luck to you