Something strange about me and what I do. Yet, I have seen other people do this as

R

Ray

New member
well.? By other people, I am talking of some of my friends. I myself have never been allowed to do things like put posters of girls on my walls. Looking at a Victoria's Secret magazine was something that I felt I had to look over my shoulder doing. I was never "doing" anything. Just looking through the pages of thes gorgeous women. I recenlty began attending college. All my life I have been unlucky, made fun of and bullied as well as shy. I feel that I have somewhat been sheltered my entire life. It's as if I am not llowed to kiss a girl and that would be bad. It might not be the case but thats how I always felt when I discussed these things with members of my family. My dad died when I was young leaving me with a controlling mom. I have few friends as it has been that way my whole life. Then, something happened. Started back two years ago when I was 16, I began putting pics of girls from Victoria's Secret up on the computer screen. The funny part is, that it's my mom's computer. I did this becuase I used it most of the time. Like 80% of the time. Now I use it 30% but still use it. I NEVER got yelled at for having them nor spoken to. I'm white. Growing up in my house, interracial relationships are a no no. But all my existence I had a special place for asian women. I love girls of all races and nationalities. So about 7 months ago, I have been experimenting with this non VS model who is Korean, Natasha Yi. I'll post some of the pics of her to better help explain what I am using. So the questions here are,

A). Why do I feel comfortable doing this?

B). Why do I leave them up there 100% of the time even when not using the computer?

C). Am I in a way, getting back?

These pics kinda make me feel safe. Stupid I know. Please don't be too hard on me.
Heres th example;

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

(this one I currently have up and has been up for about 2 weeks)
http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?s…

Also, I guess you could say I get some kind of revenge thrill by putting the "Asian" girl up.
 
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