Sobriety enjoyable???

[WhyIsThisMyLife]

How do you go about enjoying sobriety? I am sober pretty much all of the time, but I don't like it. I don't want it. I don't understand it. I am 100% glad that I am not drinking alcohol and I 100% do not want to use prescription drugs to get high, but I also don't want to be sober. I wake up each morning somewhat happy not have abused some substance, but also wanting something to relax me, to entertain me, to not be in total reality, to make the world a bit hazy and out of focus. I always feel so bored and sobriety makes that worse. How I can be bored with twin toddlers & working 10 hours a day, I will never understand. I should be happy for alonetime.

 

[SadComputerGuy]

"How do you go about enjoying sobriety"
That is the ten million dollar question as far as I am concerned. Sobriety is great... or let me rephrase not... not doing drugs/alcohol is great. Sobriety is boring. Ever notice how the phrase "it was a sobering experience" has a negative connotation to it? I am a recovering addict and I struggle with that same thing everyday. Normal life can be pretty boring. I think we all come to addiction from different paths, but we are all looking for a release from normal life. Now I have the issue of staying sober and dealing with everyday life without the pills/alcohol.

I wish i could answer your question. For me nights are the hardest, because that is when I would drink and take pain pills. I would wake up in the morning and all day long would look forward to night time when I could get high. I had something to keep me going, knowing if i could just get through the work day and get my kiRAB to bed I could then get high. Now it's like I have nothing. When I wake up in the morning, that is the best I am going to feel all day. I know I shouldn't look at it that way, but its' true. Funny because there is so much going on in my life that is so stressful that I shouldnt be bored... that shouldn't be my response... but I think i get overwhelmed and stick my head in the sand and try to ignore it all. Then i get bored.

I guess the good thing is that the days are just flying by, i can't believe it is already October 20th. I learned in NA that you just take things day to day, and if i can take it today then i will be alright, and tomorrow is another day. Each day brings me further away from my past, and each day my children grow a day older and learn a little more. Maybe in another couple of months my 3 month old will sleep through the night and my wife and I can actually sleep the whole night or have sex. I know i am way off on a tangent here, but talking it out helps.

Maybe we should both take up a hobby? My wife bought a guitar for me last Christmas, maybe I should learn how to play. Or go back to the gym? Another problem is that I just don't have time to do anything. Isn't it strange to be bored and yet not have time to do anything? I get up so early and rush my kiRAB off to school/day care and rush to work and then WHAM hit the brakes for eight hours at work, then rush home to kiRAB.

 

[WhyIsThisMyLife]

Wow. Thanks. Glad to know I am not alone. I think one thing that you said that was kinda scary is that you guess the good things is the days are flying bye. I'm sure you don't mean until life is over. I guess I just don't really see what there is too look forward too and I know that is pathetic. I would seem to have what so many strive for in life, marriage, children, home, good upper middle class income, successful career. I risk it all, because I am still unsatisfied. I think I was probably addicted to something all my life, first sweets then when I could no longer keep off the weights, switched to men. I met men off the internet compulsively, not for sex but the social contact, intimacy desire to be connected to someone. I once juggled 5 men at a time. I'm not bragging, I know I am lucky to have survived that period of my life. What I did was dangerous. Mornings are harder for me, because I have nothing to look forward too, but work & boredom. At night, I would like some wine or pills, but I can pretty much control it by using benydryl to sleep. There were things I used to enjoy like Yahoo discussion groups, I pretty much stopped after I got married though. My husband is a tv person, I'm not. I've started some things now I am not too proud of trying to obtain some happiness. I feel I have so much to be greatful for, but I also know the issues I have were created when I was a child.

 

[WanderingAround]

You seem to be thinking about all the things mentioned intelligently- which is fantastic. I have always been a poly-drug abuser, but my main pitfalls are amphetamines and alcohol (not together).

For me, I take it one day, one hour, at a time. If I can make it to lunch, still sober, then I can make it to dinner. After that, it's only a few hours till sleep. The next day, I do it again.
That is for the harder days.

The most beautiful, wonderful days are the days that one can wake up, look out a window, and actually see the beauty no matter the weather. The days when the trees have color and the wind has a smell - the things you would never notice under the influence.
These are the days that I live for.

I truly wish you the best of luck.