So i wrote my guy friend a letter telling him how i feel...?

[Jessica B]

So I have had feelings for my best guy friend for about a year and a half now. I never told him how i felt because i started to like him right before i transferred colleges, so we haven't lived nearby for awhile. he kissed/madeout with me on two different occasions, once at the end of the school year before i transferred and another time this summer when he came to my town and we hung out for the day. We both left the country for study abroad recently and met up for a weekend trip (a few weeks ago). everything was going great but he mentioned a girl he was getting kind of serious with. i was bummed but cant stop that from happening obviously. after the trip i decided to write him a letter finally telling him how i felt because i knew getting it out there would make me feel so much better. he responded with a long email that was so sweet, but i think basically just a rejection letter letting me down softly. he said things like how much it meant to him that i would write that, and that i am one of his best friends who he can trust with anything in the world, and how "at the time being" he can't say that he feels the same way about as i do, how i am an amazing girl, how he sees it as impossible for anything to happen not living in the same area, how he values our relationship more than i know, and how he hopes we keep meeting up for years to come. I realize this is probably just another rejection letter, but at the same time i want to know if i just tricked myself into believing that there was ever something there because we did kiss and he was the one that really initiated our relationship, or what. So i guess i just want to get an outsiders opinion on this. thank you!!