So after five and a half years(I'm 18) of waking up every single morning and thinking "dammit, I woke up again" it's stopped. I had two moods: angry and sad. Sure, I laughed, but was never really in a good mood or enjoying myself. Behind the laughter I was always thinking "if only...." A combination of just really a lot of bad things happening(I've made a full on fifteen page paper just explaining them all) and nothing good ever happening, it's stopped. Now I just don't have a mood. I wake up and think "oh, I'm awake" I don't really get angry or sad anymore, but I'm still not happy. I just seem to not care anymore, about anything.
So, is it progress from being perpetually sad? Was giving up all my hope a good thing?
Girls aren't interested in me. I have no game. I'm the type of guy that's perfectly content to sit in, with a blanket and watch movies. Or go to the beach at night and sit on a towel. Girls all want jocks/dicks, which I'm not, so meh. Been single 5 years now, pretty much given up on that, too. It's not so much that I'm feeling happier than before. I just don't feel anymore. Everything is met with this sort of mundane "oh" response now. Whereas things used to piss me off.
For example, I'm a democrat(let's not get into a politics war, just making an example) and I was furious when Republicans blocked important bills. Now, even things that are VERY important to me personally, I don't care. I had easily one of the worst days in a long time, and it also happened to be Christmas, but I didn't care. It was met with an "oh, she's getting a diamond bracelet and I get socks? I'm getting kicked out of my room at home and will have to sleep on a couch so my 14 year old sister can get whatever she
So, is it progress from being perpetually sad? Was giving up all my hope a good thing?
Girls aren't interested in me. I have no game. I'm the type of guy that's perfectly content to sit in, with a blanket and watch movies. Or go to the beach at night and sit on a towel. Girls all want jocks/dicks, which I'm not, so meh. Been single 5 years now, pretty much given up on that, too. It's not so much that I'm feeling happier than before. I just don't feel anymore. Everything is met with this sort of mundane "oh" response now. Whereas things used to piss me off.
For example, I'm a democrat(let's not get into a politics war, just making an example) and I was furious when Republicans blocked important bills. Now, even things that are VERY important to me personally, I don't care. I had easily one of the worst days in a long time, and it also happened to be Christmas, but I didn't care. It was met with an "oh, she's getting a diamond bracelet and I get socks? I'm getting kicked out of my room at home and will have to sleep on a couch so my 14 year old sister can get whatever she