Single and Sad about...

E

Elle3

New member
i'm 28 years old and since i was in my early 20s i wished to have children.
it didnt' work out with my long time boyfriend at the time and after him i've only had one other partner for a longer period but on and off. this man also left me pregnant but i miscarried in the first 3 months.
i find myself depressed and sad often for not having had children yet. i can't seem to move forward in life...i find this a necessary next step to have kids and a man maybe, but i am not finding a partner either, nowadays these men just want to have fun no strings attached
i think i might be desperate i don't know, i try not to think about it, i do lots of things to get it off my mind but the minute i see kids or the other day i saw a story on oprah about a miracle child i get very emotional
the in vitro has crossed my mind, but i still think that's crazy, what am i gonna tell my kids, u know? and i wouldn't have the budget or the guts to do it.
what to do? i've tried all kinds of dating methods available out there, i meet people but none to my interest...
and i'm so tired of starting over and goin' into the 2 year getting to know phase, guys are scared to think kids, they just want to enjoy life alone...
 
Graciella,

I know that you have heard this before--"you are still young" and you are!! Stop worrying about having kids. There are guys out there and you will find one. If not, than do the in vitro thing, insurance does cover this procedure now.

I was thinking just like you when I was 28. I ended up going back to school, getting a degree in a new field of study and moving to another state. I ending up meeting my husband in this new state six months later. I got married when I was 36 years old and ended up with a surprise pregnancy shortly after. I think back to my late 20's when I thought I was ready for children and actually realized that the time was most likely not right. (the big guy up above obviously had other plans for me). Having my daughter at age 37 was a blessing and now a challenge (pre-teen age they now call it). She wants it all, which unfortunate for her she was not born into a very wealthy set of parents. She does however receive a good education, does cheerleading (which is as expensive as any other type of sport) will be doing dancing this spring and has an ipod nano. She also got a new outfit for her first dance last weekend. (I am refusing to purchase the cell phone yet, although it will probably be bought for Christmas) I can not imagine being able to handle all this in my 20's ( my condolences to all those young parents).

Go out enjoy yourself-take trips with friends because when you either get married or have a child on your own than your time is gone. Your whole live will revolve around your family. Do not get me wrong I am absolutely thrilled with my life. I love my daughter and husband, however, I am happy that I waited (not by choice) to settle down until I really was ready.

I hope this helps. I am sorry this ended up being so long. It would have been far better if I was sitting having lunch or dinner or even just a cup of coffee with you just having girl talk which is what I think you really need.

So cheer up--life goes on. Stop looking so hard for a man, somehow the right one does find you.
 
ALso hon, it sounds like you are slightly depressed, and as you said youself...desparate-which does drive people off. You need to lighten up and stop pushing so hard.. First off would be to see your doctor about getting something for the depression. Once your mood lightens up you will find that people will like to be with you and dates will come. Try volunteering with Big Brother/Sisters, or other organizations where there are children who need mentoring. It will help with your need and also help the kids.

The fact that you feel so alone and desparate will scare people off. When you ease up it will be reflected in your personality also. Do things with groups of folks and I think that you will find someone when you least expect it...

good luck..
 
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