Should you get two tattoo and not discuss it with you spouse first even though you...

A

Andy

New member
...know he hates them? My wife has mentioned several times over the last few years she wanted to get a second tattoo. she has one on her shoulder and she wanted one on her ankle. Which I was not really okay with but was getting used to the idea until she came home last friday with two new tattoos one on her shoulder and the other on her forearm. She had mentioned about a month a go she wanted to get another tattoo and she never talked to me about this after that. When she cam home I was upset because she didn't answer her phone all day and was supposed to be home by noon so I was worried about what had happened then I find out she got two tattoos and now I am stuck looking at the one on her arm all the time( I have always disliked tattoos and she has known this even before we got married. Like I stated before I was getting used to the idea of one on her ankle and would like to have designed it so It could me something to both of us since the one on her ankle goes all the way around her ankle and has our three boys names in it but it stand alot higher than she had ever shown me before and I would like to have had it about 1/2 in high not 1 1/2 inches tall but the tattooist couldn't design it any smaller supposedly. So now it really stands out and she had all ways told me she wanted it to look like an ankle bracelet. The one on her arm she tells me know that she has wanted it for a long time but I feel she is rubbing it in my face since I didn't want her to get another tattoo because how I feel about them and what I think they make her look like. i asked her to get the one on her arm removed for sure since I have to see it as a reminder of her going behind my back. But I offered if she got both removed we could design a tattoo for her ankle that would look better first of all and then be smaller like an ankle bracelet and still include our children's names with a little more graphics in it. I don't want to be controlling but I feel we both have to look at each other all the time and we should both get to like what we see and not have thing within our control getting in the way of that.
 
I don't think you should try to tell your spouse if they should get a tattoo or not. I know you have to look at her...but if she were in a car wreck and was disfigured, you'd still love her, right? You didn't marry her for her looks, you married her because of her worth as a person.

I know what you're saying about it being unsightly, I'd be disappointed as well. I'm just saying that all you can do is accept it as one of the things about your spouse that you don't like. Focus on the good stuff.
 
When I read your story, this is what is going on in my head:

1) It is her body, and she can do whatever she wants to it.

2) She sounds like she rather make permanent changes to herself that really respect your wishes.

So it is a bit of sticky situation, plus the whole not answering her phone and "hiding" till the last moment with the tattoos. I can see both sides. And i don't know what to tell you.
 
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