I've been a mechanic for 15 years. If you're looking for reliability and a generally trustworthy, long lasting car, I'd shoot for the CR-V. Plus you cannot go wrong with Honda's reliability and high end resale value. Though they may seem a bit pricey from the start, Honda CR-V and all other Honda makes tend to outshine all other vehicles. I have heard and seen nothing good about the Santa Fe's, and as far as the Lexus goes, they're extremely expensive to fix and seem to just crumble in any type of accident. So I'd say your sure fire bet should be on the CR-V. I'm currently pricing the CR-V, Passport and Ridgeline. I'm finally in the price market for a Honda and wish I would have kept my Accord longer than I did, but I needed a mini van for my 4 kids and all their activities. The Lexus is a Toyota product and I've heard that they get really terrible mileage after 30k and that the sludge build up on the engines in the RX330 is terrible and requires an "engine cleaning" system to be run almost every oil change. So are creature comforts worth having to pay $70 plus every oil change? Think fuel economy, maintenance pricing, and reliability and I bet you will change your mind about the Lex. Listen to your wife and GO FOR THE CR-V!