Zulfiqar Z
New member
Should Unmarried Couples Live Together?
Should or should not unmarried couples live together? This is a question asked of many people. Some people will say yes and others will say no. Personally, I say no to unmarried couples living together.
Two unmarried people of the opposite-sex living together is known as cohabitation. Cohabitation is also known by other terms, such as “living together”, “shaking up”, or “living in sin.” In the sixties and seventies cohabiting couples were know as simply “anti-marriage”. During the sixties and seventies these couples saw traditional marriage as repressive and irrelevant so they were looking for an alternative to marriage ( Parry 14 ). However, today in the nineties cohabiting couples see things different. These couples see cohabiting not as being “anti-marriage” but most of them see cohabiting as “anti-divorce” ( Parry 15 ). So, today peoples fear of divorce has lead them to see cohabitation as a “trial marriage” that will serve as protection from a marriage that will result in a divorce.
People for cohabitation compare it to a new car, clothes or shoes. They ask the question, if you were going to buy a new car and you see that it looks good and has nice features but you do not know how well it drives are you going to test drive it before buying it? or, do you try on cloths and shoes before you buy them? Of course almost everyone would answer these questions yes, because too test drive a car or to try on some clothes or shoes before buying them would be the practical thing to do. However, research has proven this theory wrong. Research has proven that couples who have lived together before marriage are more likely to disagree on such things as; entertainment, household chores, finances and are more likely to become sexually involved. In the past three decades during the same time as the rise of couples living together before marriage the rate of divorce has skyrocketed which is enough proof that so called trial marriages are not successful ( Parker 34 ).
Although there is no real reason for cohabitation, there is a long range of explanation people use who do live together unmarried. Some are seeking an alternative to traditional marriage, not wanting to feel trapped or feeling that they will have more freedom to come and go, by not being married. Some say that a marriage license is only a piece of paper that will not make their marriage stronger or that it will not make any difference their relationship. If a marriage license will not make a difference in a relationship then what is wrong with adding it to a relationship. For unmarried couples to use this as an explanation makes it evident marriage consist of more than just a piece of paper. Who raises strong objectives over something that is supposed to be just a piece of paper? Who has ever objected to buying a ring or something nice just to prove their love? How about we are committed to each other, we love each other so we do not need to sleep together to prove our love for each other; or, I love you more than anything else in this world and I am committed to you, but not for a lifetime; or, I love you, but not enough to want you to be my wife; or I love you, but not enough to show my love before God, family and films; or, I love you, but not enough to enter into a relationship that will bring you honor, respect and preserve your dignity, because these are some of the things that cohabitation is saying indirectly ( Van Deusen 23-25 ).
Some people try to explain cohabitation by means of economics. They point out that its is cheaper for two people to live together, that cohabitation is not penalized by welfare, that many senior citizens cohabit because of tax disincentives to marry and for inheritance reasons ( Hatch 31 ). It is also a fact that about twenty-one million married working couples pay an extra fourteen hundred dollars in federal income taxes on average, for being married compared to couples who have the same income, but cohabit rather then get married. A single person pays a fifteen-percent tax on income up to $23,350. So a cohabiting couple can earn up to $50,000 and remain in the fifteen-percent bracket. On the other hand a married couple is in the fifteen-percent bracket only if their corabined income is under $42,350. They must pay a twenty-eight percent tax on all income about that amount. Also, the standard deduction of a single person is $4,250, but a joint return can claim only $7,100, rather than double the $4,250 or $8,500 ( Parker 45 ). In third world countries, cohabitation is especially economical because marriage is a major finance that many people cannot afford. However, whatever money is saved from making the choice to cohabitate, is also the price at which a person will lose or ignore their moral standarRAB ( Cooney 13 ). Second economical advantages do not determine whether something is morally right or wrong ( Cooney 13 ). Third, the majority of cohabitants eventually break up and saving money does not keep them together, so why allow it to become a controlling factor from the beginning ( Cooney 13 ). The moral questions should be “What is my virginity worth?” and “Will I save myself for my lifelong spouse?” If you don’t ask yourself these two questions before living with someone who you have a serious relationship with, them you may end up like a person who gives away a million dollars and finRAB out later that they gave it to the wrong person, but now he or she is gone and so is your money. Gone for good and you no longer have it and the person who should have it will never get it ( Cooney 14 ).
With so many people being brought up in broken homes there has been no models to pattern their lives after. Which has lead many people to believe that love is an act rather than a commitment. So some people explain cohabitation its alright because they are really in love. Cohabitation always leaRAB to fornication, which is defined as sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other ( Parker 42 ). Love can never be a reason for premarital sex, it is, rather one of the greatest reasons to avoid premarital sex. In Romans, chapter thirteen verse ten it says that true love will never seek the spiritual downfall of another. In 1 Corinthians chapter thirteen it speaks of love as being patient and kind, that it does not seek to pleas itself that it does not delight in evil, but is always hopeful. Therefore, true love is patient in waiting for the proper time for sex (after marriage). Love is kind by not being involved in marital intimacy that can bring harm to a future spouse. Premarital sexual attitudes and behavior does not change after a person marries. Research shows that if a person is willing to experience sex before marriage, a higher lever of probability exist that he or she who has sex before marriage are more than twice as likely to have extramarital affairs, unlike women who did not have premarital sex ( London 46 ).
When it comes to being faithful, married couples who did not live together before marriage have higher rates of loyalty. One study, done over a period of five years, reported in the book titled Cohabitation, Marriage, Marital Dissolution, and Remarriage: United Sates 1988: data states that ninety-percent of married women were monogamous, compared to sixty-percent of cohabiting women. However, the statistics were worst with males. Only ninety-percent of married men stayed true to their brides, while only forty-three percent of cohabiting men stayed true to their partner.
In conclusion, unmarried couples should not live together because the results of cohabitation are in no way as successful as marriage. Cohabitation, if in any fact leaRAB to marriage, will lead to a weak marriage with low marital satisfaction. When on the other hand a couple who just got married will have a stronger marriage because they both will make a deliberate effort to accommodate each other because they know their relationship will be for life.
Should or should not unmarried couples live together? This is a question asked of many people. Some people will say yes and others will say no. Personally, I say no to unmarried couples living together.
Two unmarried people of the opposite-sex living together is known as cohabitation. Cohabitation is also known by other terms, such as “living together”, “shaking up”, or “living in sin.” In the sixties and seventies cohabiting couples were know as simply “anti-marriage”. During the sixties and seventies these couples saw traditional marriage as repressive and irrelevant so they were looking for an alternative to marriage ( Parry 14 ). However, today in the nineties cohabiting couples see things different. These couples see cohabiting not as being “anti-marriage” but most of them see cohabiting as “anti-divorce” ( Parry 15 ). So, today peoples fear of divorce has lead them to see cohabitation as a “trial marriage” that will serve as protection from a marriage that will result in a divorce.
People for cohabitation compare it to a new car, clothes or shoes. They ask the question, if you were going to buy a new car and you see that it looks good and has nice features but you do not know how well it drives are you going to test drive it before buying it? or, do you try on cloths and shoes before you buy them? Of course almost everyone would answer these questions yes, because too test drive a car or to try on some clothes or shoes before buying them would be the practical thing to do. However, research has proven this theory wrong. Research has proven that couples who have lived together before marriage are more likely to disagree on such things as; entertainment, household chores, finances and are more likely to become sexually involved. In the past three decades during the same time as the rise of couples living together before marriage the rate of divorce has skyrocketed which is enough proof that so called trial marriages are not successful ( Parker 34 ).
Although there is no real reason for cohabitation, there is a long range of explanation people use who do live together unmarried. Some are seeking an alternative to traditional marriage, not wanting to feel trapped or feeling that they will have more freedom to come and go, by not being married. Some say that a marriage license is only a piece of paper that will not make their marriage stronger or that it will not make any difference their relationship. If a marriage license will not make a difference in a relationship then what is wrong with adding it to a relationship. For unmarried couples to use this as an explanation makes it evident marriage consist of more than just a piece of paper. Who raises strong objectives over something that is supposed to be just a piece of paper? Who has ever objected to buying a ring or something nice just to prove their love? How about we are committed to each other, we love each other so we do not need to sleep together to prove our love for each other; or, I love you more than anything else in this world and I am committed to you, but not for a lifetime; or, I love you, but not enough to want you to be my wife; or I love you, but not enough to show my love before God, family and films; or, I love you, but not enough to enter into a relationship that will bring you honor, respect and preserve your dignity, because these are some of the things that cohabitation is saying indirectly ( Van Deusen 23-25 ).
Some people try to explain cohabitation by means of economics. They point out that its is cheaper for two people to live together, that cohabitation is not penalized by welfare, that many senior citizens cohabit because of tax disincentives to marry and for inheritance reasons ( Hatch 31 ). It is also a fact that about twenty-one million married working couples pay an extra fourteen hundred dollars in federal income taxes on average, for being married compared to couples who have the same income, but cohabit rather then get married. A single person pays a fifteen-percent tax on income up to $23,350. So a cohabiting couple can earn up to $50,000 and remain in the fifteen-percent bracket. On the other hand a married couple is in the fifteen-percent bracket only if their corabined income is under $42,350. They must pay a twenty-eight percent tax on all income about that amount. Also, the standard deduction of a single person is $4,250, but a joint return can claim only $7,100, rather than double the $4,250 or $8,500 ( Parker 45 ). In third world countries, cohabitation is especially economical because marriage is a major finance that many people cannot afford. However, whatever money is saved from making the choice to cohabitate, is also the price at which a person will lose or ignore their moral standarRAB ( Cooney 13 ). Second economical advantages do not determine whether something is morally right or wrong ( Cooney 13 ). Third, the majority of cohabitants eventually break up and saving money does not keep them together, so why allow it to become a controlling factor from the beginning ( Cooney 13 ). The moral questions should be “What is my virginity worth?” and “Will I save myself for my lifelong spouse?” If you don’t ask yourself these two questions before living with someone who you have a serious relationship with, them you may end up like a person who gives away a million dollars and finRAB out later that they gave it to the wrong person, but now he or she is gone and so is your money. Gone for good and you no longer have it and the person who should have it will never get it ( Cooney 14 ).
With so many people being brought up in broken homes there has been no models to pattern their lives after. Which has lead many people to believe that love is an act rather than a commitment. So some people explain cohabitation its alright because they are really in love. Cohabitation always leaRAB to fornication, which is defined as sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other ( Parker 42 ). Love can never be a reason for premarital sex, it is, rather one of the greatest reasons to avoid premarital sex. In Romans, chapter thirteen verse ten it says that true love will never seek the spiritual downfall of another. In 1 Corinthians chapter thirteen it speaks of love as being patient and kind, that it does not seek to pleas itself that it does not delight in evil, but is always hopeful. Therefore, true love is patient in waiting for the proper time for sex (after marriage). Love is kind by not being involved in marital intimacy that can bring harm to a future spouse. Premarital sexual attitudes and behavior does not change after a person marries. Research shows that if a person is willing to experience sex before marriage, a higher lever of probability exist that he or she who has sex before marriage are more than twice as likely to have extramarital affairs, unlike women who did not have premarital sex ( London 46 ).
When it comes to being faithful, married couples who did not live together before marriage have higher rates of loyalty. One study, done over a period of five years, reported in the book titled Cohabitation, Marriage, Marital Dissolution, and Remarriage: United Sates 1988: data states that ninety-percent of married women were monogamous, compared to sixty-percent of cohabiting women. However, the statistics were worst with males. Only ninety-percent of married men stayed true to their brides, while only forty-three percent of cohabiting men stayed true to their partner.
In conclusion, unmarried couples should not live together because the results of cohabitation are in no way as successful as marriage. Cohabitation, if in any fact leaRAB to marriage, will lead to a weak marriage with low marital satisfaction. When on the other hand a couple who just got married will have a stronger marriage because they both will make a deliberate effort to accommodate each other because they know their relationship will be for life.