I am 25 and engaged to the man of my dreams, who i've been with for 7yrs and cant wait to marry him but he tells me a lot that i am very guarded and don't let anyone in, slightly a tortured soul. I grew up with a very dysfunctional family who had to raise ourselves, I rebelled a lot in my teen years and had a large group of friends in school. There was this certain guy in my year who was in our group and he would always be sexually harassing me and i started to feel uncomfortable around him, he was a victim of child abuse. If we were at a friends party i would catch him looking or staring at me & i would play into it then would come over and start dancing on top of me so i would walk away and he would again be staring at me, every time i was around him he would stare at me and he would look really intense. When i was about to turn 17 and was leaving a friends party he followed me and raped me, i tried to fight him off but he was too strong & i don't know what it means but towards the end part of me kind of liked it. I ended up getting sick to my stomach and couldn't stop crying then when i got home i started thinking that i deserved it as i would dance to put on a show for him as i knew he liked me or i would act like a bitch to him and do things to make him jealous. I never told anyone as my family never cared what happened to us and never believed us with anything so i taught i would be a waste of time. After this happened he would brush past me or would try to kiss me and told me all he wanted was to be with me. My friend is still friends with him but i haven't seen him in years & my friend that is great friends with my fiance wants us all to meet up but im terrified. I don't know if i should tell my fiance something that i never wanted to tell anyone. I hate lying to him but i don't want him to think less of me. Any Advice?
Should i tell my fiance that i was raped in the past? Advice, MATURE ANSWERS?
- Thread starter Holly M
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