Mary Schofield
New member
My ex-boyfriend and I met in high school during my freshman, his sophomore year. We stayed together all throughout high school, and when it came time for him to choose a school, he chose a small religious college close to home that offered him a full athletic scholarship so that we could continue to be together during my senior year of high school. Upon my high school graduation and acceptance to college in New York City, he gave up his scholarship and moved with me to the big apple. We rented a small studio apartment together on the Upper East Side, but because of the cost of living in NYC did not get to spend a lot of time together. We started arguing and bickering, and earlier this year our relationship ended. We dated for four years, we were both each other's 'firsts', and he is honestly the only person I have ever loved (outside of my family of course). When we broke up, be moved back to California wanting to be around his family, etc.
Through our entire relationship he was never especially vocal about how he felt or what he thought. He said I love you all the time, but it was difficult for him to tell me he thought I was beautiful or pretty. It always hurt my feelings, but his father was a quiet man and never vocalized himself to his wife either. He never really 'spoiled' me or anything like that but I knew that he loved me, I never doubted that. He made the choice to move to NYC with me on his own, and I know what a tremendous sacrifice that was, giving up a full scholarship and having to pay for schooling on his own.
I always thought that my ex and I would be together forever. Maybe I was just young and naive, but I really did believe that we would be that one in a million high school sweethearts that managed to stick together despite what life threw at them. I was devastated when he moved back home, but tried to move on and be happy.
A few months after we broke up, I started seeing a new boy that I had class with. He really is amazing. He is intelligent, I know that he will be successful and can provide financial stability in the future. He spoils me and surprises me with little gifts and presents all the time. And the sex is honestly much more fulfilling than it was with my ex.
However, when I am with him I just feel like something is missing. I am a pre-vet student and crazy about animals. I have a small poodle that I adore and brought to NYC with me; my new man hates her. He has said that my love for her is a 'turn off' and constantly rolls his eyes when I speak about her or show any interest in her. I know it sounds silly, but I think he is jealous of her. He has made fun of me, almost beratingly for it. He has also told me that if I ever wanted to live with him I would have to leave her behind in California or get rid of her. My ex however, loved her and encouraged me to foster my love for animals. He never made me feel crazy for loving my dog, or other animals. And oftentimes told me that my love of animals was one of the reasons he fell in love with me.
Since starting my relationship with this new man, I have moved home to California because of personal family reasons (my dad has been going through chemotherapy, he and my mother are divorced and being an only child, I felt it was my responsibility to care for him). I plan to return to NYC to continue my schooling for the spring semester. My new man and I are in a long distance relationship until January when I return.
I have spoken to my ex several times since returning home to California and saw him last night. We both got very emotional and as we said goodbye, he said, "I am so so sorry that things didnt work out." He told me that he loved me, and I told him too. I do still love him, and I think a part of me always will because he is my first love. This morning he texted me and asked me whether I thought it could still work out. I havent responded yet.
I dont know what to do. I do still love him, and part of me wants things to work out. When we saw each other it was if nothing had changed. I know that my new man could probably afford me a better, more secure lifestyle but sometimes I yearn for my ex. He is so familiar, so comfortable. He KNOWS me (if that makes sense?)
Should I try to reconcile with him, or move on with this new man?
Through our entire relationship he was never especially vocal about how he felt or what he thought. He said I love you all the time, but it was difficult for him to tell me he thought I was beautiful or pretty. It always hurt my feelings, but his father was a quiet man and never vocalized himself to his wife either. He never really 'spoiled' me or anything like that but I knew that he loved me, I never doubted that. He made the choice to move to NYC with me on his own, and I know what a tremendous sacrifice that was, giving up a full scholarship and having to pay for schooling on his own.
I always thought that my ex and I would be together forever. Maybe I was just young and naive, but I really did believe that we would be that one in a million high school sweethearts that managed to stick together despite what life threw at them. I was devastated when he moved back home, but tried to move on and be happy.
A few months after we broke up, I started seeing a new boy that I had class with. He really is amazing. He is intelligent, I know that he will be successful and can provide financial stability in the future. He spoils me and surprises me with little gifts and presents all the time. And the sex is honestly much more fulfilling than it was with my ex.
However, when I am with him I just feel like something is missing. I am a pre-vet student and crazy about animals. I have a small poodle that I adore and brought to NYC with me; my new man hates her. He has said that my love for her is a 'turn off' and constantly rolls his eyes when I speak about her or show any interest in her. I know it sounds silly, but I think he is jealous of her. He has made fun of me, almost beratingly for it. He has also told me that if I ever wanted to live with him I would have to leave her behind in California or get rid of her. My ex however, loved her and encouraged me to foster my love for animals. He never made me feel crazy for loving my dog, or other animals. And oftentimes told me that my love of animals was one of the reasons he fell in love with me.
Since starting my relationship with this new man, I have moved home to California because of personal family reasons (my dad has been going through chemotherapy, he and my mother are divorced and being an only child, I felt it was my responsibility to care for him). I plan to return to NYC to continue my schooling for the spring semester. My new man and I are in a long distance relationship until January when I return.
I have spoken to my ex several times since returning home to California and saw him last night. We both got very emotional and as we said goodbye, he said, "I am so so sorry that things didnt work out." He told me that he loved me, and I told him too. I do still love him, and I think a part of me always will because he is my first love. This morning he texted me and asked me whether I thought it could still work out. I havent responded yet.
I dont know what to do. I do still love him, and part of me wants things to work out. When we saw each other it was if nothing had changed. I know that my new man could probably afford me a better, more secure lifestyle but sometimes I yearn for my ex. He is so familiar, so comfortable. He KNOWS me (if that makes sense?)
Should I try to reconcile with him, or move on with this new man?