When I was a kid, about 10 or so, I was diagnosed with ADHD. My parents never put me on medication as they didn't believe in it.
Fast forward eleven years or so. I'm starting to take graduate level classes in college and I think I'm finally starting to have problems. I've never taken a page of notes in my life, I fill up pages with doodles. Over my three years of college I have made literally hundreds of pages covered in little lines, doodles, squiggles, etc. I also procrastinate endlessly and end up locking myself in the library for hours with energy drinks and get the amount of work done i could do in one hour if I focused in that time. It's like I'm always at war with myself to do what I want to do. I have to get my roommate to hide my phone and laptop from me because they're too much of a distraction. I'm bright, and was in the top 1% in SAT scores, and that's the only way I think I'm able to get by. I ended up going to a college that was sort of below me academically and have made fairly good grades, but I think I've been underachieving.
I do fine on exams. When the pressure is on I can perform. I'm a physics major so most of the problems are puzzles which I like. But if I'm in a class which requires papers, or lots of tedious homework assignments, the difficulty increases exponentially.
I've gone through a million planners, calendars, and 10 step programs to get organized but always fail to. It's really frustrating. My apartment is a wreck at the moment. I just want to know if I'm lazy and should just "try harder," (like it's that easy), or if I should try prescription meth route. It does seem like the easy way out, but I'm just tired of having to put so much effort into doing simple tasks. I'm just worried about becoming dependent on the drugs if I get them.
Any advice?
Fast forward eleven years or so. I'm starting to take graduate level classes in college and I think I'm finally starting to have problems. I've never taken a page of notes in my life, I fill up pages with doodles. Over my three years of college I have made literally hundreds of pages covered in little lines, doodles, squiggles, etc. I also procrastinate endlessly and end up locking myself in the library for hours with energy drinks and get the amount of work done i could do in one hour if I focused in that time. It's like I'm always at war with myself to do what I want to do. I have to get my roommate to hide my phone and laptop from me because they're too much of a distraction. I'm bright, and was in the top 1% in SAT scores, and that's the only way I think I'm able to get by. I ended up going to a college that was sort of below me academically and have made fairly good grades, but I think I've been underachieving.
I do fine on exams. When the pressure is on I can perform. I'm a physics major so most of the problems are puzzles which I like. But if I'm in a class which requires papers, or lots of tedious homework assignments, the difficulty increases exponentially.
I've gone through a million planners, calendars, and 10 step programs to get organized but always fail to. It's really frustrating. My apartment is a wreck at the moment. I just want to know if I'm lazy and should just "try harder," (like it's that easy), or if I should try prescription meth route. It does seem like the easy way out, but I'm just tired of having to put so much effort into doing simple tasks. I'm just worried about becoming dependent on the drugs if I get them.
Any advice?