Should I have a polygraph test done on my wife?!?

  • Thread starter Thread starter fransyskow cantoo
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fransyskow cantoo

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My wife of 7 years has recently become close to a past boyfriend when she found him on myspace. She has met with him and even tried to meet him without me knowing(in a secretive way). Many other "clues" have me super suspicious that she comitted adultery. She secretly sent a sext message to his personal email. She tells me that nothing sexual happend but she admits she flirted and nothing more. I do not believe she has been faithful, and just want to know the truth.
 
You are going insane about this.
The problem is on emotional level so it cannot be solved with a logical mind. You've got to have a feeling for how attached she is with you. Has her attachment changed recently? Did she start treating you differently? Are you even paying attention to her?

If the answer is yes, then explain your standards about the cheating and set the boundaries (i.e. no flirting if she wants to stay married to you). You need to rebuild trust so offer to exchange email passwords.

If she maintains a distance then explain how this makes you feel (it is likely hurtful to be close to someone that you cannot trust). If she does show empathy then schedule marital counseling session and go with her.
 
secrecy has no place in a marriage. and as i've learned ex boyfriends are the past and should stay there. friendly hellos at the grocery store are okay anything more not so much. and i think sexual and flirtatious texts, are cheating period. try counseling, even so she has already disrespected your relationship in a major way.
 
i mean really would she take it. you just need to be straight up with her and let her know that you need to know the truth how you feel about her contacting this x and all. if she cant respect you then you need to find some other options. ask her how would she feel if you were going backwards instead of forward in your marriage.
 
A polygraph is not the answer. What is important is how you can improve your relationship and make it a loving, caring thing. Do you love her? Or do you just want her around? Are either of you happy? It sounds like you both could benefit from some counseling.

You want to know the truth? If she is flirting, then she is not feeling good about herself and if you don't help with that, you will lose her one way or the other.
 
Where there's smoke there's fire.Save your money. You will find out sooner or later. I am willing to bet that your dead on.
 
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