well i know that as of right now im attracted to girls (im a guy) but everytime i watch porn its like all the sudden something clicks in my head and all i can think about is the girl sucking a dude off and getting penetrated and all i can think of is me doing those things that the girl is doing to a guy.
ive even tried experimenting with my fingers in the shower and i really liked it, untill i came, and then its like my head clicks again and all the sudden i feel disgusted with myself for doing what i did almost to a point of feeling guilt. The thing is i dont want to be gay because i will "let down" certain people, lose all my friends, and i know its really hard to come out but i cant help but feeling how i do. Am i in denial? im really confused and dont know what to do.
ive even tried experimenting with my fingers in the shower and i really liked it, untill i came, and then its like my head clicks again and all the sudden i feel disgusted with myself for doing what i did almost to a point of feeling guilt. The thing is i dont want to be gay because i will "let down" certain people, lose all my friends, and i know its really hard to come out but i cant help but feeling how i do. Am i in denial? im really confused and dont know what to do.