...are adults not living at home.? They were married 40 years. He has worked hard to get his estate plan in order. Even so they are only legally separated because it would be to costly for them to divorce. I have accepted never being able to marry him. For 3 and a half years all I have heard is how evil and abusive she has been for forty years. His adult children confirm this. However he goes to her house every day for a couple of hours or more. Occasionally they go out to breakfast. I don't even know what all he does for her. Now she seems to be his best buddy. Every time I think it has gone as far as it's going to go, he finds a way to spend more time with her.