Should I be criticized for this poem about natures beauty lost, I can take it?

William P

New member
The Vultures wings shadowed the grass and the beauty disappeared,
such the evil the bird displayed, it had to pay with the taste of eternal death.
The feathers breathed relief as the death flew off, but blue the color the peacock found
As a crown that worn with sadness the loss of self to death the vultures soar

I made it up a few minutes ago in answer to another question. Is it sucky? lol
 
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