scared of having sex?

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Hi, i just turned 20 this year, i have been single for a few months after a 4 year relationship. he is the only guy i have slept with. We rarely had sex as i didnt like it.. its not so much as being scared but i think sex is disgusting! but the thought of having sex with another guy terrifies me! it scares me to the point that i'd rather be back with my abusive ex just so i dont have to go through with it with another guy!
another ex raped me but ive never let it bother me so i dont know if that could be to blame? cos im really not bothered about it.. in fact i dont even class that guy as someone who took my virginity as i dont really remember the sex.. just woke up through it (i was drunk he found me and took me to his house).. i also dont know if it culd be cos my dad always told me never to have sex so i probably feel grossed out by it? i dont know! why am i scared of sex if i've already done it with my ex??
just to clarify, im definately not a lesbien lol nothing against them, its just not for me! lol i've been talking to a few guys on the internet who i really want to meet but im scared incase they expect sex and i really really dont want to do it!! sooo scared lol and when my friends tell me they slept with yet ANOTHER guy i get so depressed cos i feel like im missing out on a lot cos of my fear! all i want is to not be scared so i dont have the fear of meeting new guys. i really wanna meet this one guy buy im scared incase it leads to sex!! my mam doesnt understand me she says im just being stupid and immature but its becoming a massive issue for me im just so scared!
Thanks for all the help.. a lot of you recommended counselling..how do i go about getting this?? Is there a way of getting in touch with one without going through a doctor? cos im at the docs a lot because of an illness i have so i think theyre getting a bit fed up of seeing my face! lol
Thanks so much for your help :)
 
I hate to say but perhaps you need to see a doctor and or therapist about your troubles and find the heart of the problem. Ok. God Bless!
 
Don't feel stupid for being scared of sex - you were raped and that is one of the worst things a woman can go through - it is essentially the theft of a body.

You might come to like it later, but if you don't, that's fine too. You need someone who you trust. Not all men are just out for the sex. A lot are, but there are decent guys out there too who will put you before their own need for orgasm.

If you never ever want to have sex again, so what? Just because everybody else does it doesn't mean you have to as well.

You aren't a freak - everybody is different.
 
Why would the fact you don't like sex make you a lesbian?, lesbians like sex.
You have a multitude of problems going on there, immaturity being one but an inherent belief that sex is wrong is another. Not acknowledging a rape sends all kinds of alarm bells ringing, you've blocked it out because you cannot comprehend what has happened, you need some psycho sexual counselling, both to come to terms with the rape and to explore your distorted views about sex. your father has damaged you by instilling in you the idea that sex is wrong, it is not wrong and your body is your own, you obviously feel worthless as you think you don't deserve a caring partner or justice for the rape. It's classic case of a parent damaging a child's head.
Get counselling, nobody here is qualified to give you rape counselling and psychotherapy, that is what you need if you are to live a happy life.
 
its okay to feel that way becuz of what you wen thru....its a beautiful thing and guys take it for granted u need to find a guy who is gunna treat you right and have beautiful sex not dirty like how they do. it would feel better and you woulod be close to the person you love. embracing them and feel like you are apart of them.
 
this might sound a bit weird or immature.. but i reckon it would help..

get a d.ildo

it will help u overcome ur fears..
 
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