...With What i should do next? Sorry the title is kind of illiterate but I only had so many letters so don't moan.
Anyway this is the story. Listen carefully to every detail cos they are important. and its nearly 5 in the morning so i cba with typing completely properly cos i am tired, so im not gonna use capitals and punctuation and etc so dont just leave comments saying i cant spell etc etc..
I Met this guy a very very long time ago. I dont even know how long its been but ill just say years. then one summer, 2 years ago?, we dated. i asked him out,but the feeling was mutual so we were both happy. then we texted for ages and were just happy like.!... then i was just unhappy because my parents didnt want it and dint approve. and it just made me miserable , so i ended it , not far in.
he knew i still had feelings for him though.
and we stopped talking.
then this last summer, we made up, and he asked me out. i said yes and i knew i really liked him. we met up one day with 2 of my other friends. and it was fun, one of my friends left and he begann to cuddle me and stuff. he was hugging me and i didnt want him to let go <3..haha.. so then we went and sat in this feild..and layed in it.. and he kept saying can i kiss you and i was like really edgy cos im not expierienced..i wouldnt say frigid but yeah... and he went to kiss me anyway ,kissed for like 4 seconds and then i pulled away. soon after he left , sounding kinda pissed... then i spoke on msn later and he was like, you obv dont like me and stuff. long story short, we broke up. right. i cried my f*cking eyes out i was like heartbroken.
...... we spoke a bit like friends but neither of us could cope tbh! so we stopped talking,avoided each other. then just recently, its been new year i said to myself. i will not fall for someone that does that to me. i wont let myself be hurt again. ,, and hey presto he starts talking to me again!! f*ckkkkk.... and then he was just like hey and friendly stuff,.. but then he started being flirty.. i didnt hold back because all my old feelings have come rushing back like suddenly. i totally forgot about him,but i dont want him to ruin my fresh start. i totally love him. maybe i dont. i dont f*cking know anymore... i just dont want to be messed around again, i want to be happy. but i cant stop thinkin of him, but i dont want just a stupid fling again. i dont want to be on/off, just on or nothing.
thankyou for reading all that, cos it musta took some time lol.
any ideas? any stories for me on similar stuff? and what on earth do u think is best for me now?
verrrry long.. sorry! just thankyou if you do read it i appreciate your time. everything i just had to say it its important to get my feelings out.x
thankyou for the answers so far guys i think you are right,; i do love him . its so obvious to me now lol.. im talking to him on msn have been all night.. (its half 5 am) and we dont run out of things to say. last thing he said = "i cant wait to kiss you , oh my god." lol
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