Talia Hart
New member
I'm stuck on how to phrase a paragraph. A boy of a similar age to the main character has burst into tears at the mention of his dead mother. The briefly drafted, badly written paragraph, i've wrote is:
I stood rooted to the spot, wholly unsure of what to do. The sight in front of me was so heart aching that I wanted to embrace Ashley, pull him close so that he’d stop crying. Unable to take it any longer I dashed forward to the bed and sat beside him. I didn’t dare to touch him but it was less depressing than standing by and watching him sob.
Please, could anyone rewrite the paragraph for me? I'd appreciate it a lot!
I stood rooted to the spot, wholly unsure of what to do. The sight in front of me was so heart aching that I wanted to embrace Ashley, pull him close so that he’d stop crying. Unable to take it any longer I dashed forward to the bed and sat beside him. I didn’t dare to touch him but it was less depressing than standing by and watching him sob.
Please, could anyone rewrite the paragraph for me? I'd appreciate it a lot!