Actually, we always waited like 5-6 weeks. And We had to get really creative to help me feel better, (I gained a lot of weight) We played strip poker, etc, after the kids were asleep, we went on dates and just made out. Thankfully I have a great mom and mother in law to babysit, so we could go on a walk and hold hands. little special things like that made us fall back in love after the really exausting, tense, and long pregnancy and the immediate aftermath. I had absolutely no desire for sex. I was not in the body I remembered, I had saggy "Ape tits" Breast milk is never an aphrodisiac. And my belly was like an affectionate pet that hung around my waist.
So yeah, there is a lot to overcome, but A friend gave me some really great advise. "even if you are not in the mood, pretend. you will be surprised. Dress up. You know your good points, make the most of them. make dinner in a super micro miniskirt. help wash the car in a little t-shirt, and, "oh dear, did I forget to wear a bra?"
You have to give time to heal, and all, but you also have to re-find your groove. It will come if you give a good effort.
By the way, it took about 3-ish months to get really back into the swing of things.
It is driving my husband crazy, naturally. It's not that I don't want to.. it just seems like my mind is telling me I don't need it.. Is this normal after having a baby?